30 October 2004

stay or leave


Cool negative shot of the fireworks display after the Hootie and the Blowfish concert a block from our house. The white line is a powerline in the backyard. Posted by Hello

29 October 2004

bread

I had an in-depth, one-sided discussion concerning the Pillsbury Doughboy ready to post. I deleted it once I realized that a doughboy is another name for fried bread. Of course, it's also an American infantryman in WWI.

I still don't understand why the fried bread walks around everywhere and makes that giggle noise. Do we poke fried bread that often that we figured we needed to do so in advertisements for biscuits?

28 October 2004

jump


Today, I came home from work to find the orchid blossom had mysteriously drowned in the sink. Posted by Hello

27 October 2004

aflac

All those years of eating the Little Debbie Raisin Creme Pies at Grandma's house have been a waste. I ALWAYS took the raisins off. I just wouldn't have anything to do with raisins. And then this weekend, Piggly Wiggly shined the light on those petite, sweet grapes dried by the sun or by other artificial means. I bought a box. I've eaten four. I haven't removed the raisins. They are so good. Why don't I just TRY new food instead of immediately pretending it doesn't exist?

No. I won't eat eggs, I'm sorry. Macaroni and cheese, maybe. Eventually.

25 October 2004

a thousand miles from nowhere

"Sand is overrated. It's just tiny, little rocks." --Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Sounds good to me. Well, almost.

Today I was in the living room watching TV when I kept noticing this high-pitched, and very annoying, noise. I inspected the house but found nothing. Then I started peering intently out the windows eventually narrowing it to something in the backyard. I discreetly opened the backdoor just in time to see our backyard neighbor open his backdoor also. The racket was very loud at this point. I quickly closed the door and investigated through the blinds. I suddenly felt like I was in some 1980's horror flick. Our neighbor walked out and removed a giant leafblower that he had lodged into his porch to somehow rid something from underneath it. Well, that's what I think he was doing at least. He took the leafblower and replaced it to its residence, the nearby shed. Maybe he thought it was Groundhog's Day and was wondering why his pet groundhog, Horatio, didn't waltz out?

Which brings to me why it seems all groundhogs are males? I'm sure it would be funny to have a groundhog named Ellen.

california stars


One of my orchids randomly bloomed yesterday. This was one that I resurrected from the depths of a clearance shelf while visiting Lowes this summer. It would have died. I altered the image so it would radiate in black and white. It bloomed purple and red but that wasn't the reason for the photo. It was to show that it had bloomed. Make sense? Posted by Hello

be mine


Idiosyncratic? The shot was begging to be taken. Posted by Hello

she was born in november, 1963 the day aldous huxley died

As one could determine from the pictures below, the REM concert was a blast. The two bottles of wine consumed in the parking lot beforehand helped. We arrived early and bought wine because it was cheaper than beer and hell, why not? Mine was extra-cheap wine though. Inside, Rachel started talking to a girl named Claudia..she was from Monterey, Mexi. but lived outside of Atlanta. She was sitting beside us and had arrived by herself. That takes guts. I think Rach has a new friend now. heh. REM played a considerable amount of both old and new songs. I enjoyed the recent songs just as much as the Losing My Religion and Man on the Moon. Nightswimming was incredible though. I think my favorite was Walk Unafraid.

When I arrived in Atlanta on Friday night, Rachel and I headed to Mellow Mushroom and consumed a pitcher of PBR. From there we tried to become gypsies for a Halloween Parade that was supposedly down the street. I found some random clothes upstairs in the house she is renting. Well, they were her landlord's old clothes and he doesn't live there anymore. Nevermind. I looked more like I had abandoned a Big Band gig or something. Regardless, we headed to the "parade" with 2 of her friends. We realized that no one else was dressed up when we got there..oh, and there was no parade. Turns out, the parade was the next night. Go figure. With nothing else to do, we drank another pitcher at some bar where the waitress became flustered when we left her a small tip. Had she even realized we existed, it might have been a different story.

Saturday morning was spent trying to figure out how to rid myself of a nasty sore throat. I took so many vitamins and potent cough syrup that by the afternoon I was about to pass out. Good thing we were shopping and Chick-Fil-A was nearby! The concert was that night.

Sunday I drove home and realized that Georgia doesn't dot the lower-case "i" on any of their large interstate/exit signs.

24 October 2004

inebriated shiny happy people laughing


After a little intoxication and arriving 2 hours before the concert, this was the parting shot before heading in. Peace. Posted by Hello

shiny happy people laughing


This was en route to the REM concert. We sure are shiny, happy people. ha. Posted by Hello

ghosts in the darkness


Cool, artsy silhouette shot that I especially liked. Posted by Hello

Gypsies? Where??


This is not our usual attire. Visiting Rachel's in Atlanta proved all the more fun this time with a impromptu Halloween Parade nearby--which didn't exist that night. We tried to dress at gypsies although I don't think I came close. She did though. This was her first try. Posted by Hello

22 October 2004

aluminum tastes like fear

For those of you that actually read this (my stalkers), I'm headed to Atlanta in a few. There's a REM concert awaiting my presence. Blog withdrawal? Anyone, anyone?

21 October 2004

Aquarius.. AH-QUAR-EE-US..

For the record, I sang the Growing Pains theme song over and over again while at work today. That's before, during and after my allotted crossword puzzle time.

I'm addicted to eyedrops. My contacts miss the drops if they haven't been doused in over 4 hours. I suppose Ben Stein's commercial for Clear Eyes sold me. "Do you suffer from dry, itchy eyes?" 'Why yes,.. yes I do.' Hmm, Bueller? ...Bueller?

So I washed and dried my laundry tonight. I followed a nice protocol of folding my clothes as I took them out of the dryer. Typical laundry experience, right? Where could this turn into an ordeal worth blogging about, you might be asking. Well, after I folded my last vintage t-shirt, I reached in to grab the exhausted dryer sheet. Of course, it was missing. Why on earth it would just vanish, I'm unaware. I stuck my head in the dryer combing the white, metal oval but I found nothing. I know I put one in there. There's a formality to this. It's not that involved. I glanced over to my neatly folded laundry and it hits me. I'm going to be sitting at work, or sitting in a meeting or sitting in the car and I'm going to notice something slightly wrong. There's going to be a dryer sheet in my pants.

go fish!


Yesterday while at work, I consummated my first crossword puzzle by myself! The dictionary DID help me though. I'll confess to that. Posted by Hello

gin and juice

I began to sing the theme song to the Growing Pains this morning while making my breakfast. WHY? Then I realized that it, along with many others, can be added right behind the list of theme songs we can recite. The bad thing was, after I sang the song long enough, I realized that I wasn't really singing it correctly. Perhaps your rendition would be on the same level as mine:

"Show me that smile.. [backup vocals]: (oooh show me that smile). Dum du dum dum de CRYIN'.. We're dum dum de dum dum duuum.. (we're nowhere near). something something to begin.. OHHH, AS LONG AS WE GOT EACH OTHER, [cue the anomalous synthesizer]--do de doo..."

I sure knew intro to the second verse, didn't I? There's a climax there. Ah, nostalgia.

Well, I still have a sore throat this morning. I woke up and now I'm sipping.. sippin' on Gin and juice.. Laid back, with my mind on my money and my money on my mind.. Oh wait, that's a song. Ok, so I'm sipping Russian tea again.

20 October 2004

slowly walking down the hall/ faster than a cannonball

I researched the Mentos topic. This is a depiction of the very first episode--just condensed into a commercial synopsis.

"A sassy young lady sashays past an open air French style cafe, gaining the attention of a business man, and at the same time interrupting his newspaper enjoyment. As she glides past, a footwear malfunction occurs, leaving her sans one heel. She reaches for her secret freshness inducer, Mentos. After administering a piece of the magic elixir of nuttiness, she breaks off the remaining spike, proclaiming to the world her resourcefulness, and endless freshness. The man in the cafe is undoubtedly impressed."

Doesn't it just put a spring in your step?

So, I have a problem with deodorant. I either apply too much or not enough. Don't you hate that feeling? One underarm felt inadequate while the other, well it was too happy. Rachel also has a problem with this. Check out her blog. She hasn't directly written about it, but she's secretly told me about her underarms. I know, it's a shameless plug.

It's been a slow day and I have a sore throat. I've been engulfing Russian tea (aka, tea and Tang concoction) to suppress it. On a sidenote, I watched the entire R.Sox/Yankees game and I'm excited that they won. I was told I needed to promote current events.

What did I think about while at work today, you might ask? Well..

What if you really DO like long walks on the beach?

And why won't the kids in the Family Circus comic strip ever grow up?

dead stick walking

Just a random thought. (surprise, surprise huh) What if, instead of spiders and cockroaches, our homes were invaded with Walking Sticks (Carausius morosus)? There are over 3,000 species of this.. stick. There are even books and websites devoted to the care, handling and even breeding of this.. stick. I mean, just think about all these..sticks..functioning around inside our houses. Would you really have the heart to kill one of them?

I suppose they would generate a plenteous supply of kindling over time.

green abyss


Feelin' a bit artsy. Snatched this two weeks ago. Just imagine if you were an insect and you see this labyrinth before you. Posted by Hello

come get organic with or without your birkenstocks

So, for the past couple of hours I have been swatting at an annoying housefly that has taken up residence in my house. To be honest, there were three of them. They kept buzzing around my head like they were on a mission. They only came inside because of the cold snap last weekend. In other words, at this point in time, they are half-dead anyways. Their insistent buzzing around from lamp to lamp was driving me crazy. Their path seemed to cross paths with my eye contact to my laptop. Finally, I killed two of them with a rolled up newspaper. The final one, Big Mo' as I have named him, keeps landing in the lamp with and becomes trapped briefly. I cannot figure out if he's (yes, it's a male) doing it intentionally to gain some sort of heat or if the allure of the light is causing it. I hear him in the metal lamp because his buzzing becomes slightly more audible with hints of clinging added. I gaze over whenever this noise becomes more pronounced and I see the dust particles escape in violent patterns.

The title of this blog comes from an ad that I tore out of a free local music paper on Monday. It's just an ad for Earth Fare--"the healthy supermarket." Who knew it would make me laugh enough to tear it out and toss it in the pile of thought-provoking finds.

I was in the audio/visual section of the public library Monday when a peculiar thing occurred. While I was browsing, the librarian began to play Beethoven's 5th Symphony on the cd player in the room. After a few minutes of perusing, the cd began to skip and ultimately ceased any discernible sound altogether. Seriously, no less than 1 minute later, someone in the VHS section (probably looking up old MASH episodes) received a phone call. The call rang in the tune of Beethoven's Fur Elise. I couldn't help but snicker at the incongruous call. Too bad he's not here to hear his invaluable pieces being played as ringtones for phone calls which probably consisted of "Hey, wazzup homeslice? Yeah, I got the first 4 years of MASH now. Come on over after CSI goes off and we'll watch 'em." Too bad Beethoven was deaf when he died.

How often do you recite almost all of the entire melody to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air whenever you're flipping channels and it's coming on? Why do we know all of those lyrics?

Can life's problems really be solved the way they are in the Mentos commercials? If so, we'd be walking to work with wet paint all over our pinstripe suits and taking tablecloths off the table to disguise ourselves at waiters everyday, I'm sure. The freshmaker!

19 October 2004

Timberland ad?


So there was this one time, Timberland called me on the phone and flew me to Death Valley. I obliged and then they pushed me off the cliff. This is the last picture before the tragic event. heh. (copyright, Paula R., 2004) Posted by Hello

Death Valley 2


Uh oh, look who figured out how to post photos? I'm showing off now. This was me discussing a depositional model of Owens Valley. We are standing in the middle of the dry lake bed of Owens Lake. Death Valley, Mar, 2004. (taken by Scott W.) Posted by Hello

Death Valley 1


Testing out the waters. This pic was taken by Paula at Hot Creek near Death Valley in Mar, 2004. Awesome, I know. Posted by Hello

18 October 2004

speaking of chocolate wafers

First, I must remark on something. I should definitely read my posts prior to publishing. I had grammatical errors. I sincerely apologize. Please don't abandon me because of my erroneous behavior. I can still spell antidisestablishmentarianism without looking it up in the dictionary! That's incentive.

Now, who's wondering what the heck that word means? I see, 2-3-5 hands. Ok, that's enough. Well, it's a noun. From dictionary.com, it originally meant an opposition to the disestablishment of the Church of England. Apparently, it now means an opposition to the belief that there should no longer be an official church in a country. The icing on the cake comes when you see the example that they provide: When people are asked for the longest word they know, they often say antidisestablishmentarianism. Way to go with the "let's use it in a sentence, kids!"

Tangents. Whew. So, I'll be sitting at work or sitting in my car in traffic and I start thinking of things I want to tell you all. I'm not sure who ALL of you are since I have told some people and I keep hearing of others who know about it now. But it's kind of a fun stalking game, isn't it? Anyways, it's to the point where I jot notes down that either tick me off or make me smile and then I want to share them.

From a conversation with Maria..this got me thinking about those pictures of people who are already in the frames when you buy them. I mean, who are those people? Have you ever thought about them? Do they go to Wal-Mart and buy the frames with their pictures in them and put them on their mantles? Saves on developing film, huh?

Honestly, where on earth do all the paper clips end up going? Occasionally you'll find one on the floor somewhere and we've all done it, we pick it up in hopes of saving it from who knows what. But what did you do with it? Perhaps it went in your pocket with some spare change from the honey mustard chicken with bacon sub you just ordered at Quizno's. Then you get home and it gets tossed in that odd contraption that we love to call our "spare change holder." Mine is a very rustic looking pinchpot that I got for free. I'm sure that's what it was meant for, right? Regardless, there always seems to be a shortage of paper clips. Undoubtably, there's probably someone out there who's thinking, "but I have 493 paper clips in my nifty JUMBO PAPER CLIP DISPENSER from Staples!" Ever think about that? You buy paper clips at a place called Staples? Does anyone ever go there just for staples? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Did Dr. Scholls really have so many foot problems during his life that he had to find remedies and patent them all?

random thoughts while in the shower

The things that run through your mind while showering are remarkably similar to the thoughts that run through your mind while you are about to fall asleep.

I've mentioned this one to some before, but don't you hate it when you step in the shower in the morning and it's either too cold or scalding hot? There's that moment where you cower in one of the corners, just trying to avoid allowing the water to touch you. Then, you have to make the choice of sticking your hand through the stream to turn the knobs or darting around it and standing under it?

This leads to the inevitable thinking of just what exactly happens when you are washing your hair and your eyes are closed. I mean, really, there is no telling how many trapdoor spiders come out of the woodwork and come close to killing you. If we all washed with Johnson and Johnson's No Tears, then we could just leave our eyes open, right? My favorite thought is when you're washing your hair and then you get the notion to read the back of the shampoo bottle. 'Maybe I've been doing it wrong all these years,' you think.

Or you step in and immediately see something fall from somewhere (you, the shower curtain or the tile) and then it floats down into the drain. You obviously can't tell what it was because you just took out your contacts, so you stand there in a puzzled sense, wondering what the heck it was. You just know it had to be a poisonous spider lurking at the bottom of the curtain. Then you start playing 20 questions. 'Was it smaller than a breadbox??'

NY152

"The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino."

hm, such is life?

I had to put that quote in. It really summed up a lot of this weekend--right down to tonight. I'll probably end up going to Starbucks in the morning just to pacify my ego. Ever notice the growing trend of analyzing how many Starbucks there are? I realized it's absurd. I mean, I've certainly done it too. "There's a Starbucks here, and another one here.." Do we rarely speak of McDonalds in the same way? I mean, they are everywhere too.

I've researched on Google. Fail-safe Google? Anyways, Starbucks is opening up approximately 3.5 coffee shops a day--worldwide. Well, whew, at least it's worldwide. This was all according to:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4633825/

Now, I do realize this is contradicting my statement about the whole 'why we elaborate on just how many Starbucks are on every corner of every block' thing. Since it was a good article, I couldn't resist relaying it. I'm not taking sides on the issue of the monopoly. I certainly support local coffee shops too.

And from a recent Letterman Top10 list:#6 Thing You Don't Want to Hear from the Guy at Starbucks: "One Decaf Venti Skim Latte--39 dollars."

I think I'm digging myself into a hole. From the looks of it, I'm against Starbucks now, huh? Nope, I'm definitely going there in the morning on my way to work. 'One grande caffe` vanilla frappuccino, si vous plait.' Ok, nevermind. I just did some more researching. WITH whipped cream, the drink aforementioned has 470 calories (140 being fat calories) and 16g of fat (10g being saturated). Oh mylanta. I'm not usually one for caring about the nutrition labels THAT much, but when it stands out this badly, it must be worth it. Here's the same drink WITHOUT whipped cream: 340 cal/30 fat cal and 3.5g fat/2g sat. fat. Perhaps next time I'll just ask for 'one Dixie cup of distilled water, please.'

17 October 2004

contrast of white on white

not sure exactly how to pinpoint it, but there's just something about counting crows' lyrics. last night i was watching SNL and decided to flip channels. this was on the tv in my old bedroom at my parents house, so it didn't have satellite hookup (aka, 700 channels to peruse). i was flipping through the static channels and found tom petty on austin city limits which was cool. then, I was about to fall asleep when I flipped through again and heard "mrs. potter's lullaby" radiating from the tv. what?? it was the crows. some station was playing the crows. I couldn't tell what station it was because there was so much static and the station call letters were transparent in the bottom right, but wow. the next song was "round here." I felt some sort of connection at that point. I mean come on, the title of this ..blog.. is from the lyrics to that song. it was nearing 1am and I was watching counting crows on an old tv. call me crazy, but I thought it was interestingly cool.

I had a dream last night/this morning. (just had an epiphany. I can post my dreams on here--that way everyone can see how weird they tend to be). anyways, I was literally trapped in my grandmother's house in California. apparently, there were striking similarities to an episode of Lost. I believe it was even referenced during the dream. I cannot remember too much except that there were a lot of people in the house. the house was also extended with all these rooms down the hallway. at some point, we realized that whatever was outside had made it inside and wherever you were, with whoever you were with, were trapped. eventually, it became known that the predators were baby velociraptors. odd, I know. people were killed but I don't remember who. I was in a room where the door didn't lock, so I was forced to lean on it for a long duration. in the kitchen, all the food was spoiling and people were getting diseases from eating it all. confusing, yes. as with most of my dreams, I rarely remember the outcome or conclusion--so I realize this is a disappointment.

it's always so surreal to stand in my parents yard late at night and see just how many stars there are. living in Columbia doesn't provide you with this opportunity very often. brought back memories of sitting on the porch looking for satellites with my sister. it always took me a while to find them. patience was an issue. last night I found Orion was keeping his watch in the east, although he was laying on his side.

16 October 2004

pumpkintown

i was trying to think of something witty to say, but i've got nothing.

ever have those good mornings where you're driving and you have some good music and road rage is not apparent in any driver that you pass and run-on sentences become overrated? well, this morning was one of those. i was on the road around 8am and it was way too pleasant. after last night's chicken episode, i needed to switch poultry. so..i headed to my parents house to play with their turkeys. ever seen a turkey farm? well, i'll snap some pics and link them soon. everyone should witness this phenomenon.


i peeled and sliced a giant pumpkin today and now my mom is making HOMEMADE pumpkin pie. of course, i walked by and glanced into the bowl to see an egg in there. WHY, OH WHY must everything be made with the egg? i have nothing against the egg. i just don't like the smell or taste of cooked eggs. foul. i pretend they aren't in the food i'm eating.

there is a pair of bumps on I-126 heading into columbia that cannot be avoided if you're in the right two lanes. it's the strangest thing. my car isn't the greatest, but for some reason, the bumps are always on my mind because of the rattle and shaking that occurs when i drive over them. i forget they are there sometimes..and then it's too late. i'll be driving along and then suddenly remember right as i drive over them. thu-thunk, thu-thunk. i'm sure something important and vital is going to abandon my car one of these days right there on the interstate. perhaps only those of us with worn out shocks only endure the pain like i do. it's the equivalent to driving over 2 PVC pipes laying across the lanes. in actuality, i have driven over 1 PVC pipe in my old car once. i was only going about 40mph and it wasn't the interstate. so just think of going about 60mph and there being TWO PVC pipes in your way. why am i talking about this? well, last night i was driving through the area and i was in the far right lane and forget to switch over to the far left before my time was up. odd thing is, i was in the right lane because i thought it might be lonely and i never drive in that one. i have problems. they could just fix THEIR problem..then i wouldn't have one. well, i wouldn't have such an escalated problem. ah, who am i kidding?

15 October 2004

recovering the chicken

well, so it's my very first one. you're either very excited i'm finally writing my own, ahem.. blog.. or, you're devastated that my life has come to yet another stalking phase. either way, i made it--courtesy of a conversation with paula tonight.

it seriously all started because, well, because paula was born. no really, her birthday is this coming monday and i decided to take her out to eat tonight since i wouldn't be in town the remainder of this weekend. good thing we were both hermits for this thoughtful friday night, eh? we attempted a rather packed Olive Garden first. 40 min wait? this found us outside in the christmasy cold weather pondering our chances of starvation from waiting so long or going elsewhere. around this time, an older couple comes out with doggy-bag in tow. the husband proceeds to light up his cigarette that he was probably anxiously awaiting. he speaks to his wife, "can't believe they ran out of chicken" in a rather monotone. 6.34 seconds later i realize that gullible is not in the dictionary either. hmm, had his wife not shaken her head in a somewhat laughable pose, and had paula not laughed out loud, i probably would have just believed him. sometimes i'd rather not let people know that i'm that gullible. well, we contemplate a few more mins and decide to leave. i stand in line to return my buzzy/light-up toy that they give you and while standing, i decide that i want to tell the hostess a lie. a compulsive lie? all i could come up with would be to say "i'm sorry we have prior commitments." but i chickened (really, no pun intended) out and said that we were unable to stay.

so, we head to atlanta bread company. after a 3-minute gaze at the menus we approach the somewhat glazed cashier. paula orders her half and half and i order my chicken panini concoction. the glazed cashier looks up and says "i'm sorry, we don't have any chicken right now." she obviously thought we were on drugs from the amount of laughter that ensued from her monotone comment. then it hit me, what on earth will i eat? i've been branching off enough already and then it occurred to me that i only eat chicken at ABC. i settled for the vegetarian panini w/o mushrooms. she glanced down for a second (apparently to fix her robotic arm?) and said, "yeah, you can have that." whew. later on, she was sweeping very close to our table and i leaned over and asked if they had any chicken now. of course, she said they did.

perhaps the man at olive garden was a soothsayer.