29 November 2004

40 sturdy plates

Today at work I was in the break room refilling my Nalgene when I overheard a coworker, Linda, talking. I didn't realize she was talking to me for a second. Only after I heard her question asked a second time did I acknowledge her. Sidenote on Ms. Linda: she sits in the paneled-cubicle section behind me. She answers her phone calls in the most southern voice you could possibly conjure in your mind. Goes something like "FARM SERVICE AGENCY! LINDA FLOOOOYD SPEAKIN'! YEAAAAS!" Think the redundant secretary on Office Space ('just a moment please'). She's incredibly nice though..one of my favorites.

ANYWAYS, she points to this newly posted sign on the shelf above me while I'm refilling my blue Nalgene with Red Delicious apple stickers plastered on the rim. The paragraph is like 6 sentences long and she was pointing and seemingly waiting for a response WAY too early for me to read and react so she finally just said "so, are you going to be here next Wednesday? want to bring something? come on!" Really, I did not read a single word of this paragraph so my only reaction was to say "do I have to bake something?" She chuckled and said, "why don't you just bring the plates?" "Yeah, I'd love to bring the plates," I exclaimed. Really, I was excited because I was asked to participate. Or was I just excited because I was bringing plates? Then she leans over and says "bring about 40 plates. Well, not those flimsy ones, but 40 sturdy plates." So, I topped off my non-filtered water and went to my cubicle and wrote "40 plates (sturdy)" on my memory paper. Yes, I have a memory paper--but some call it a "list of things to do." Whatever floats your boat, right?

28 November 2004

This is a precursor to all of the pictures I'm about to share. Don't we look festive with that tablecloth? Or is that a tablecloth? Is it a wall that we are leaning on? I'm not telling. Check out that random foot that's on Rachel's leg. (clockwise from left: me (sitting), Joseph, Laura and Rachel (sitting). I always wanted to list people in my pictures like magazines and newspapers do.) Posted by Hello

23 November 2004

it's gettin hot in here..or out here

I abandoned work 11 minutes early today for lack of anything to do that would keep my eyelids from closing. Practically everyone else had already sojourned to their cars for the ride home. I was just not feeling good at work today. I'm not sure I laughed more than twice.

The drive home was obviously a different turn of events. I didn't notice any familiar or witty personalized license plates at the first light. Since that game was going nowhere, I perused the Cogdill Carpets flashing sign directly on my left while I was waiting for a green light. I knew it flashed the temperature and the time regularly, so I watched it for a few brief seconds. Well, I knew it felt a bit muggy outside but I wasn't prepared for this:

4:51PM // 501 deg F.

Holy cow. I did a quadruple take at that sign and immediately erupted in some manic laughter before suddenly realizing that surely all the cars around me were watching me. But all they saw was me wheezing in my car. I laughed for about a minute until I almost slid into a police car because I was trying to figure out what K-9 meant. For a brief moment, it didn't click.

Yeah, canine.

But really, 501 degrees? I don't even think Nelly could sing about that one.

flashback to the Beacon and the grease

Moral of this story? If you go to the Beacon and you order the items seen here, you will lose your eyes.

But Kris and I are Not Responsible for your eyes--as noted by the warning sign above my head. Posted by Hello

21 November 2004

rachel to me..

"SO I went pants shopping today."

This, after I tell her my whole life story and a pause occurs.

when it rains it pours and opens doors that floods the floors that we thought would always keep us safe and dry

Well, who DOES live in a pineapple under the sea?

I'll give you one guess where I went tonight.

As I was was standing near the movie theater in the pouring rain waiting on Paula to arrive (ok, it wasn't that dramatic--I was sheltered) I noticed that someone had painted a nice depiction of a Spongebob and Patrick on the box office window. Man, I wish I had my camera. In the center was the famous life preserver with Spongebob Squarepants written in all it's glory. Only, the glory was a little unsubstantial. I believe it was all painted on the inside of the box office and therefore all the words had to be painted backwards. Only mistake? They painted the "g" in Spongebob FORwards while they painted the remainder backwards. Cover your children's eyes. This is not for the faint of heart.

Aside from THAT erroneous behavior, the movie was exhilarating. I think Paula and I laughed more than anyone in that theater. The best part was seeing Princess Mindy wearing a piece of yellow jewelry on her wrist that looked just like Lance Armstrong's LIVESTRONG bracelet.

Oh and Patrick wearing Goober Guy underwear...whew.

And the fact that Spellchecker suggested that I replace "spongebob" with "scorpion" is a minor disappointment.

19 November 2004

skies are blue

The first time I laughed during most of the evening tonight was during a witty moment on the 11 o'clock news. Ben Tanner forgot to put the turkey graphic representing Thanksgiving on his 10-day forecast at the end of the newscast. He was mocked. It was funny. I laughed. The turkey has been on there the past few days. It shifts and then makes and inaudible gobble.

I've been reading about the 9th planet, Pluto, tonight in Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything. I asked Andy a question earlier if he had ever learned how Pluto was discovered. Merely preoccupied as to if he had received any mail on the table, he muttered "I think so" and proceeded to hand me some solicitation from the post office about mailing packages efficiently during the holidays--completely disregarding this pertinent question and unknowingly seeing that I was exuberant about my recent discovery.

It took astronomers 48 years to discover that Pluto had a moon. This is astonishing considering that "relative to the planet, it was the biggest moon in the solar system." It took them 7 years to see the moon again and then confirm it. Of course, it is remarkable that Pluto was found in the first place because if it were sitting in the lower-48 states, it would only occupy nearly half of the area. Pluto was the first American-discovered planet and was named partly because of the Pl- was a monogram of it's original discoverer Percival Lowell. Interesting, huh? Pluto sounds a lot better than Planet X. Bryson considers it "cosmic lint."

Pluto. One would say it's lonely, but it sees the sun everyday as it wobbles on its tilted plane near Neptune.

18 November 2004

so i can fly far, far, far away

Pardon me if I'm wrong, but yesterday while watching a SPECIAL REPORT about saving gas on the local news, I discovered a flaw. I won't say who was reporting (just in case she reads my blog on a daily basis) but I'm sure she didn't even know what she was doing either.

She was giving all these tips on saving money at the pump and then they panned back to her and she was filling up her car. The odd thing was, she was filling her car with Exxon Supreme--the highest ocatane (93)! I don't think that saves money, dear. Be sure to note that I said "car," meaning a 4-door, tan-colored sedan and not a gas-guzzling demon Hummer which might need Supreme.

Maybe someone should also tell her that Exxon isn't the best fuel station to be going in the first place. But then again, that's me being biased.

17 November 2004

16 November 2004

you can light up the dark

Driving home from work provides the best blog topics.

Scene: rush hour traffic on Huger Street. Almost home..

and then, it happened.

I was listening to Christmas music (2 radio stations switched to 24 hr xmas music) singing and minding my business when the railroad crossing guards came down.

"'Here comes Sandy Claws (I always sang it like that), here comes Sandy Claws..right down..' AGH! Curse them!"

Well, I only sat there for about 5 minutes, so it wasn't that bad. Oh yeah, no train crossed the street. It was one of those blasted witty trains that think they are so funny and stop before the road crossing, then sit there. Of course I didn't know it was one those funny trains until the crossing guards return to their upright position and I proceed over the tracks. This is where everyone looks left to right to see why on earth we were stopped in the first place and then it scares you because of course, there's a train sitting idle beyond the trees. With it's light on, I might add. Idle. From the perspective of a moving car at dusk, it looks like it's heading right towards me and that perhaps the crossing guards just WENT up because they were tired of blinking.

you'll see things i'll never see

Call it the big epiphany of yesterday, or Rob going crazy, but last night while watching the weather (imagine that) I realized something very crucial. The meteorologist mentioned that we were having unusually high pressure readings in SC yesterday. Then, I suddenly remembered I had a strange headache that pretty much lasted all day. It wasn't a migraine-like headache, but merely one that flew in under the radar and was present whenever I thought about it.

So, this morning, I still felt a little ache up there and I did some researching. Sure enough, there's a link to high pressure weather conditions and headaches. Or at least other people have made this realization and decided to voice their concerns online.

And after that discovery, I started thinking about other things that might be effected by high pressure. Considering I had my glasses on and had just woken up, I was sure that one of my bedroom walls was bowed inward. Even the hanging stuff looked bowed. I had myself so convinced that I actually had to get up and compare it with the door jam. This is the part where Rob goes crazy.

82, 82, 82.
-82 what?
-There's a lot more than 82 toothpicks, Ray.
246 total.
-How many?
-Pretty close.
--There's 4 left in the box.

15 November 2004

step on the stones

I left work today and approached the first red light just in time to realize that the car in front of me was none other than:


What are the chances? If you're incredibly lost at what I am referring to, there's a post somewhere below this about license plates.

It's always interesting to think of what people think about when they are sitting in there cars. I have a Spongebob Squarepants license plate casing (what are they really called?) around my plate. Occasionally I'll catch someone behind me pointing at it so their passenger can chuckle and then I'm SURE they start singing "who lives in a pineapple under the sea?"

11 November 2004

... Posted by Hello

thinking outside the box

Amanda, Kris and Daisy living in my black and white world. Posted by Hello


I'm a birkenstock owner. I live in black and white. Posted by Hello

10 November 2004

angels of the silences

Flashback. Our summer roomie Amanda took this one fine evening in July. At some point I am startled by a shriek and come to the rescue in my summer pajamas. Had I been facing the camera, you would have seen my "JUST SAY NO" t-shirt logo on the front. Anyways, a crack had developed in the ceiling and a LARGE spider was holding refuge there. No fear, Rob to the rescue. This was definitely a precursor to future LARGE spiders that inhabitated the area and were ultimately annihilated. Posted by Hello

everytime i hear that song

While I'm on the subject of volcanoes and red meat.. I was on my home from work tonight and began my ritual of staring at license plates. Tonight's prized possession was a personalized plate on a red Honda. After I read it out loud a couple of times, I suddenly realized I could definitely be one of the kids on Sesame Street sounding out words for the first time.

"Luuv twoacct. Luuuvvv twoact. Luv two act. Ohh, LOVE TO ACT," was exclaimed after I analyzed the letters "LUV2ACT" over and over.

Sometimes I... Well, nevermind.

09 November 2004

the next contestant on the price is right

On my journey through Virginia I kept noticing the same signs that read:

"Speeding enforced by aircraft and other electrical devices"

I don't know about you, but I've never been pulled over by an airplane. Nor from an 'other electrical device.' I'd be embarassed if a stereo or a television pulled me over also. I wonder if there are clauses on the back of the signs--"electrical devices are, but not limited to, radars."

It gets worse. I was sitting in traffic elsewhere in Virginia when I was parked next to a pick-up truck that had its work banner on the tailgate. The banner read "Lion's Painting." His license plate however, read "Leon 11." Do you think his license plate is wrong and should say Lion 11? I like to think that his banner is wrong and he actually works and owns Leon's Painting because he IS Leon. Who knows.

And yet it still gets worse. The Explorer in front of me during yet another traffic jam had the license plate "3UP5DN." Not sure what kind of luck he's been having. Anyways, I was in the middle lane of 3 lanes with this not-so-lucky guy in front of me. All of the sudden, I see 2 signs on either side of the road. The left side had a road sign that read "Lane Ends--Merge Right." On the right side of the road, the sign read "Lane Ends--Merge Left." Now, I don't know what kind of baloney the Virginia DOT is trying to pull but NEITHER lanes merged up the road. Go figure. Remember the 3up5down unlucky guy in front of me? Yeah, we're in the middle lane and as soon as we pass the HIGHLY VISIBLE signs, he definitely moves over to the left lane. Just sad.

I added new pictures here in the Philadelphia and the Random sections.

08 November 2004

casting shadows on the winter sky

This outcome of this picture amazed me. I took this on Sunday at Ben Franklin's grave in Philadelphia. Those are pennies scattered about on the tomb. Posted by Hello


Frank and Kathy (friends from field camp) at their house in Philadelphia this weekend. They would probably hurt me if they saw this picture. Haha. I told them I needed proof they existed. Frank sure knows his philly cheesesteaks. Posted by Hello

04 November 2004

lewis and clark

Last night I was trying to fall asleep with my eyes wide open. The glare coming from all of my technology (the stereo, the blinking of my cell phone charging, the screen saver on my laptop, the cable modem blinking, the list is endless) was providing an excellent array of blue and green colors on my ceiling. Since the glare was on one side of the room and I on the other, the ceiling fan in the middle was engrossed in a battle of who can produce the best shadow puppet with itself. As I was staring off into space (trying not to think of that Ellen skit where she talks about how random thoughts and images and catch-phrases dart through your mind while you're JUST about to fall asleep.. like the mouthwash commercial and at the end you hear, "BY MENNON." cracks me up!). Anyways, I just abandoned a fragment in the last sentence. Ok, so the ceiling fan's shadow looked like something familiar. It took me a second but then I figured it out. It looked just like the Cingular Wireless cell phone company logo. I mean, it was a dead-ringer.

You know the one I'm talking about right? That little orange, weird-looking bouncing thing that represents I don't know what. It looks just like some kind of toy that Nerf would conjure up that, if thrown with your knees bent and facing a cross-wind, would come back to you. But they never did. You'd read those directions and it would tell you to bend the edges up at 37-degree angles and this would make it return to you after you threw it.

Well, then I realized that my ceiling fan had 5 blades and the Cingular icon only had 4 extremities. So forget I said all of that.

02 November 2004

somewhere out in america it's raining

I just voted. It was only an hour and 45 minute wait. But, unlike the 2000 election, this time I voted for the intended candidate.

The woman in front of me tried her hardest to get me to join the community meetings for Olympia residents on the third Monday of the month. As we neared the actual booths, she began singing "I'm a poll watcher, I'm a poll watcher" (in the tune of 'i'm a girl watcher'). And she was pretending to hula dance too. Highly embarassing when there are 100 people standing behind you and you're in a gym where the acoustics are very good.

There was another woman in front of me that was only wearing one sock.

01 November 2004


I helped a woman who couldn't reach two yellow packages of frozen broccoli from the top shelf of a frozen vegetable compartment the other day in Piggly Wiggly.

I don't even like broccoli.

ow! no, no.. OWL.

Mine was the free-handed owl on the left. The owl is sitting on a branch. Oh, now you see it. Posted by Hello