30 December 2004

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decaf nonfat grande

I started wearing my glasses this week. This is only a 2-day event as I have realized that contacts are so much easier to manage especially during the driving-in-the-blinding-sun moments. I bet my coworkers thought "Rob got glasses for Christmas!" No, I just woke up and had to drive Karen to the airport on Tuesday and didn't have time to put my contacts in. And this morning, well, it was more of an idon'twannaputthemin kind of thing. Tomorrow, my contacts will win. I won't have to worry about dust particles.

Yesterday on my way to work I saw a car with the license plate "123 RUB." Honest truth, that's what it said. I did one of those laugh and clap moments in the car and then said it out loud to just reiterate the fact that it was real and so that my passengers, who were imaginary, knew it was real too.

There's always something during the day that strikes a chord and I tell myself not to forget to mention it here, and obviously that thought always vanishes when I actually sit down and type. Ah well, off to bed.. It's December 30th! woohoo.

29 December 2004

makin my way back to cleveland

I bought and watched Garden State tonight. It's one of my favorite movies this year..if not my favorite. The soundtrack is phenomenal too.

I also bought a country cd tonight. A REAL country cd. What's happening?

And I bought shampoo, shaving cream, toothpaste and a toothbrush. Odd how all of those can run out simultaneously. Did you know you're supposed to change toothbrushes every 3 months? I just wanted to buy one because it looked really cool.

Maria told me she went to the dentist today..and when I asked if she received a sticker she said she didn't. The horror! That's like when you've grown up past that age where the bank tellers stop giving you suckers when you're in the car with your mom in the bank drive-thru.

28 December 2004

So much time and so little to do. Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it.

Mrs. Teevee: Loompaland? There's no such place.
Willy Wonka: Excuse me, dear lady...
Mrs. Teevee: Mr. Wonka, I am a teacher of geography.
Willy Wonka: Oh, well then you know all about it and what a terrible country it is. Nothing but desolate wastes and fierce beasts. And the poor little Oompa Loompas were so small and helpless, they would get gobbled up right and left. A Wangdoodle would eat ten of them for breakfast and think nothing of it. And so, I said, "Come and live with me in peace and safety, away from all the Wangdoodles and Hornswogglers and Snozzwangers and rotten Vermicious Knids."
Mr. Salt: Snozzwangers? Vermicious Knids? What kind of rubbish is that?
Willy Wonka: I'm sorry, but all questions must be submitted in writing. And so, in the greatest of secrecy I transported the entire population of Oompa Loompas to my factory here.

---
I watched Willy Wonka tonight. It was 5 years ago that I saw it for the first time..and that was during my freshman year with a bunch of friends in the dorm.

27 December 2004


The crew (rob, andy, leigh and kris) after eating way too much. Add this to the car series. Posted by Hello

Underground. Posted by Hello

creative earth

One of my back, left molars is in pain. It was coinciding with a weird pain in my ribcage too.

Last night I was driving down Starnes Rd. when I realized just how neat the road is at night. It was after midnight and the moon was shining down on the road. My headlights were on full blast and I was driving about 50mph. The road is a one-lane route and has no markings whatsoever except for occasional red mud tracks left behind from someone’s adventure in the nearby mudpits. Or from someone who ran off the road accidentally. Aside from that, the moon and my headlights were shining down innocently on the dead, dry but tall grass on both sides of the road. Beyond that was even taller grass and the then start of the woods. Amidst all of this I suddenly realized that at any minute, a large deer could leap out of the woods, scared from the sound of a moving vehicle impeding on its rendevous in the woods and crash into my car. This immediately prompted for a change in speed. It also allowed me to hear more of the song that was playing.

I felt as though I was in the ultimate horror movie as I would not be able to use my cell phone because I was past the critical “threshold cell phone service mark” that is inevitable within a 1.5-mile radius of my parents house. Sad how dependent we are on cell phones these days. What’s next?

24 December 2004

the subject titles are difficult sometimes

Guess who went to Best Buy again today? Guess who contributed to another tree being innocently slaughtered? Oh oh, me me. I'll stop with the Best Buy receipt thing sooner or later. Onto more important things like trying to traverse across the Best Buy parking log on Christmas Eve Eve. Gees. I was only 100 yards from the interstate yet it took me 30 minutes to get there.

I suppose it's all my fault for procrastinating, huh? Sure, blame me. It was just December 23rd. I was just buying ONE cd.

Kris told me today she bought me a dog for Christmas and it's at her parents house and has been for three weeks. Then she told me she was lying.

Leigh told me that my hair looked different and I looked skinnier. Then I went and ate 2 slices of cold pineapple and ham pizza.

Laura told me that she'd make me a 'manly' scarf from the "Box of Scarves" I gave her. I told her it needed to be black.

Rachel told me that she is also not in the Christmas spirit.

The cashier at Best Buy asked me if I felt like I was in jail all of the sudden after I stood in the queue line and was told which cash register to approach.

The cashier at the Barnes and Noble Starbucks told me that I was going to become a geology teacher in one year..this after I blankly told her I had no idea what I was going to do with my geology degree. What??

These were my fortune cookies for the day?

Happy December TWENTY-FOURTH!

23 December 2004

tusk

Wow, I'm being really apathetic lately. Apathetic towards everything.

I came home from another 8-hr day at work and decided that a nap was more of a priority than finishing my Christmas shopping. So here I sit, doing laundry and thinking of just how I'm going to finish everything before traveling to the upstate tomorrow.

I actually sat on the couch and watched a syndicated episode of Fear Factor tonight. WHY?? In the recap, they showed the contestants eating these large (alive) spiders. They had some dramatic-sounding name. Another portion was being locked in a coffin with "15,000 HISSING MADAGASCAR COCKROACHES" ..Oh dear. It needed to be in all caps for that extra dramatic effect again. Do you feel it? Did you cringe? I didn't.

Today was one of those days where it was warmer outside than INSIDE our house. Go figure. Yet, I was wearing a t-shirt and my thick, black fleece jacket all day because I was cold. I sneezed 6 times in a row this morning. At work, I took some allergy medicine and was so drowsy afterwards that I had to drink extra coffee.

The only moment that I laughed today was when I turned around to see Ms. Floyd talking to another woman about her shirt. Apparently there was an elaborate discussion about reindeer that was starting and I was missing out. So, I muted my online broadcast of 107.9fm and tuned into their conversation. Ms. Floyd was wearing a bright red shirt and I hadn't noticed what was on it. She turned to me and asked if it "got it" because there was a joke on her shirt. It had 6 agile reindeer in various poses and they all appeared to be falling from the sky. Above them it said "RAINDEER."

Oh the humor during the day after 3 cups of coffee and allergy medicine.

Happy December 23rd.

21 December 2004

the things i remember, the things i forget

So I am absolutely not in the Christmas spirit at all. Sometimes I feel as if I am and then later on I think of reasons as to why I am not. I've been having long days lately.

Alas, something funny occurred (2 c's and 2 r's!) tonight. It's actually really pathetic if you think about it, but it got my attention.

Last night after work and eating with Kris, I played Halo2 with Will at their house. So then I leave late in the night and in the process, I leave a voicemail on Rachel's phone concerning whatever she was inquiring about and then I mentioned that I had played Halo2 all night and eventually we beat it (although Will did most the work as I was a rookie). Then, I got home and did my usual perusing of everyone's blogs to see if and what they posted. On Joseph's blog, he mentioned that he and Rachel were going to be playing Halo2 that night. So, I thought that was humorous. Well then, tonight I'm in Best Buy (where else?) and Kris randomly walks up and we're talking and she mentions that she had read Rachel's post today talking about watching Joseph play Halo2 and then later receiving my voicemail concerning Halo2 and then she thought 'what is the world coming to?' So now I'm home and apparently this is THE topic of the day and I wanted to mention it to all.

I can't seem to convince myself to buy a new digital alarm clock. I have stood in the alarm clock section at Target numerous times, just staring blankly at the clocks. I'll pick one up, tell myself I'm going to buy it, then return and place it on the shelf. I have, however, convinced myself that I cannot wake up in the morning because after 4.5 years, my alarm clock's monotone has been etched into my brain and it will not wake me.

20 December 2004

four sides


Identifying squares is a hobby of mine. Posted by Hello

it's gettin cold in california, i guess i'll be leavin soon

What a weekend. I was in Atlanta for a grad school informal interview and for a Christmas party at Rachel's--coincidentally on the same day. Thursday I worked my 8 hours and then abandoned Columbia for Hot-lanta. Only this time, Atlanta was cold. On Friday, Rachel and I woke up with the radio blaring country music (which was nice but she kept turning it off). Then there was this guy who called in on the radio show to say that there was snow in Marietta. Only he couldn't really describe the snow very well, so it sounded like "Yeeeah, there's some ..stuff coming down over here in Marietta. Looks like snow, but I ain't too sure." So, that put me in the Christmas spirit. And back to sleep. Finally, we made it to Georgia State Univ. where I proclaimed to the graduate director that I wanted to attend as a master's student and he agreed. So, in other words, things are looking very good at the potential grad school prospect. They've received most of my application, so now it's a game of waiting. The campus is delicately placed in the middle of Atlanta though. Bustling city indeed.

Friday night was the party hosted by Rachel and her two older roommates. The mood was formal. Hence the sushi that was served? I passed out around 2 or 3 or ..well, I don't really remember when.

Saturday was spent wasting time watching tv. BUT, I did get to see the new VH1 show, Motormouth. In case you haven't seen it: a bunch of people are secretly video-taped through hidden cameras in their cars (by their friends) and then you get to watch them as they sing to all their favorite songs and shout at other drivers. It's hilarious. Definitely makes me wonder as I'm driving down the road singing to Aretha Franklin's "Respect" on the way home.

While Rachel was busy having an automobile accident that afternoon, I was shopping with Andy and Meghan..with all the money that I did not have. We found some awesome shops..which I cannot disclose because some gifts, of those who read this, were bought there. Last night was spent burning sage in a clam shell. Yeah, I went to a Native American store. I don't know either.

Tonight on the drive home I contemplated why Colonial is pronounced phonetically, but Colonel is pronounced "Kernel." Why??

19 December 2004


Not a black eye..just some sage that we smudged on our face. The package said it would "cleanse your aura and other environments." Posted by Hello

We look evil. This was taken before the Christmas party at Rachel's house. Her other roommates decided to have a party..only it was sort of formal. That's why we look evil..and that must be why it looks like I'm wearing a cape. And that must be why the shadows of our heads look so ominous. Posted by Hello

Who are those crazy kids? This was a conglomeration on a fridge door. The photo on the left was taken of Rach and I in 1998 following the ring ceremony during our junior year of high school. Flashback, huh? I think I still have that shirt. The photo on the right was taken at Paula's birthday party at my old apartment, October, 2003. The cat is Stitch. And I'm not sure what the upside-down "floating..ukiyo-e" really is. We'll pretend we know her. Posted by Hello

15 December 2004

a long december

Today I realized that I could listen to Bob & Sheri, The Pam Stone show and all the rest of 107.9theLink's station fun while at work--ONLINE. So, I was elated this morning at this free finding. And instead of commercials (because they cannot air them) the play songs. Who would have ever thought. Genius.

So tonight I ventured to Best Buy for the 3rd time in 4 days. My receipt was only 19 inches tonight. Whew. Saved a toothpick on that one. I was in line (which in itself is a calamity during holiday hours at this store) and was watching the customers around me. A woman came back into the store just to get her receipt which she failed to retrieve. I understand this because everyone has taken items back to stores. But the funny thing is, the cashier had to dig in his trash can to find the crumpled tree matter. Poor tree. It probably survived wildfire, hail storms, a hurricane or two, and some freak snowstorm and what happens? It's degraded to a trash can. Doomed.

The guy in front of me bought a cordless phone and it was $157! Wow. My cell phone wasn't even that much. Anyways, I was thinking of my recent blog about, well, my whine about Best Buy's deforestation plans and the cashier told the customer, "Oh, wait. I need to give you the receipt!" as he was headed out the door with his $157 phone.

All I could do was mimic her voice and say, under my breath, "Oh, wait. Let me chop down this tree!"

dead air


Proof for Stacey. She asked for it. That's a 6-inch ruler. It's lying on a dead tree. Of course, it's all sitting on my desk, which is also made of wood, so I guess I could be a hypocrite, right? Posted by Hello

14 December 2004

giant, SLOW 18-wheelers don't disappear either; it's also molecularly impossible

Really. You know it's going to be me complaining when it stars that way.

For starters, I had to run to campus today during my lunch break to pick up some forms and whatnot. I leave the parking lot at work and am immediately behind a really slow driver. I won't describe any characteristics because I'm leaving that for your imagination. This driver can look like whatever you want it to. But, if you need a start, just pretend you were watching a kangaroo drive. Anyways, so I realize I could probably just buzz around her at the stop sign and zoom around the block and cut her off at the light. Oh no, she's too smart for me. That's why she's driving 14.72 miles per hour. I went around the "block" and when I hit the light (red light, naturally), I said out loud "ohh, I bet she'll get me yet!" Lo and behold, there she was. So, I get behind her again and at this point my road rage has hit it's peak (the peak before you actually yell at someone and they hear you because I hear it's not technically road rage unless the other person witnesses or hears verbally otherwise). Too bad her windows were closed. My window was slightly open because I was melting inside my black car while wearing a black fleece.

So, we're at the next light, finally. She goes straight and I turn right. Finished with her. Onto my next victim. Four lanes of traffic lie ahead of me and I in the 2nd from the left behind an Explorer. I chose this lane because there was an 18-wheeler in the extreme left lane. Light turns green, Explorer doesn't move, I get mad. It's a simple equation.

Why wasn't he moving? Phone call. Very important one! I could tell from the stern look I was given after I belted to the left and passed him. Oh, oops, now I'm behind the 18-wheeler. Let's call it Zeus (because the truck and driver are one entity at this point). Of course, stern Explorer man is driving slow and I'm on his left and Zeus is ahead of me inching along so NO ONE is really getting anywhere on this frigid day going the rate we are going--12.39 miles per hour--well, except Kangaroo driver, but she's on another street right now.

Scene #31: The State House and intersections of Gervais and Assembly--2 highly-driven roads during lunchtime--obviously with stern Explorer man and Zeus in front of me. Then, it happened. Zeus turns on his left turn signal. What? "You can't turn left--you're too big to fit in the turning lane--you're going to block the whole lane," was what I was shouting, but obviously Zeus has selective hearing. Light turns green, Zeus doesn't move, everyone else moving away from me, I get mad. See, repetitive equation.

At this point, I should mention that my window was still half-way down and I started hearing loud noises like scrap metal being thrown at 25 chalkboards. It's a common sound. I can't see because Zeus is so titanic, remember, so I'm oblivious. Finally, Zeus makes a break for it, but doesn't really make it all the way left and is forced to sit in the intersection. This would be fine because he should be in the turning lane, but NO, something is impeding his directional turn. What could it be? I'm not really paying any attention because I'm so ecstatic about finally making it through the light. I inch and inch and keep hearing this weird noise only to notice that no more than 3 feet from my car, a GIANT, RUSTY, WOOD-MUTILATOR (otherwise known as a wood-chipper) is next to me in the turning lane impeding ANYONE from actually making the legal turn, much less, ZEUS.

I'm so irate at this point that I don't care that I'm forced to hear the sound and I just leave my window down. But, the noise definitely got the best of me as I was within arm's length of the wood-mutilator. I angrily rolled up my window and pulled out my lead foot and raced to the next intersection where, of course, the light is red, stern Explorer man is waiting and there's absolutely no traffic moving from the other direction because a) one side of this light is the State House and b) the other side is blocked for construction. Yet, I had to wait for those extra 24 precious seconds that seemed like eternity.

Take your time wherever you travel. It's worth a few laughs from the friends of those you annoy. Better yet, take kangaroo, a stern man and Zeus along with you.

12 December 2004

only Best Buy can prevent deforestation

Really. I frequented Best Buy this afternoon. I purchased 2 items. My receipt was 21.75 inches in length. That's nearly 2 feet long!

It's the length of some newborn babies. It's larger than my television in my room. Heck, it's even larger than Charlie Brown's Christmas tree.

people don't vanish; it's a molecular impossibility

This evening while creating a chicken caesar salad (because I have no other food), I was putting the items into the bowl. I added the lettuce and then the chicken and then I went for the croutons. I reached in the cabinet, grabbed the foil bag and poured the entire contents into my salad. Much to my surprise, I had reached for a bag of Teddy Grahams and consequently poured about 25 of those little, honey-flavored bears into my salad.

The volatile reaction to seeing small bears in my salad was enough to make up for all the bad days this past week including today. Really, just imagine the site of seeing bears instead of crunchy chunks of bread. I rounded them up and threw them in the trash because they were stale.

I did find one stowaway later. He had drowned in Catalina dressing. Horrible death.

10 December 2004

sic

You know how you'll see a word somewhere or hear it and think, "I have no idea what that word means" and you're too involved in your putting together your ham sandwich to go look up the real meaning so you just don't care anymore? Then, perhaps 2 hours later or 2 days later you hear it on the radio or you see it on an advertisement or someone says it in a movie? Well, that happened to me. My word of the week was "sic" and not in the meaning "you sicced the dogs on me" but more of using it to denote an error in a quoted passage. I heard it in a movie the following day and then on the radio the next day. This happens far too often. Merely coincidental?

Last night I was writing some obligatory Christmas cards and enjoying the fact that I'm sending them a week early so perhaps I'll actually receive more than 3 this year (to my 18!). Don't you hate it when you're writing something all nice and the first line says "Hope you're having a good ..." and you completely forget what noun was supposed to sound better after 'good' then you realize that nothing sounds good there because it's not technically Christmas yet, so that won't work. And you stick in 'December' just to take the cheap way out. And then you sit and recite over and over, "what on earth was I talking about..'hope you're having a good ___'"? Finally, I just gave up numerous times and wrote "..holiday season" to take the other cheap way out.

Then you go and make your ham sandwich and realize you could have livened the quote up by putting your newly found word, sic, in there somewhere as if someone had previously screwed up that sentence.

Yadda yadda yadda, sic, "Hope you're having a great seasoned holiday."

You too!

09 December 2004

it's a bittersweet symphony..

Earlier, accuweather.com's forecast description for tomorrow was "dull, rainy." Wow, sure does make me want to wake up in the morning and start my day.

On my way home today I got a front row view of yet another train at a crossing on a major road in Columbia AT 5:00. Who sets up these schedules, really? And since I was so close to the train and so close to my home, I decided to count the cars on the train. I actually estimated there would be 80 while I was counting. Turns out, I counted 79. And of all the graffiti I discovered, the most interesting one was car #6 with it's light blue spray-painted "AVON" for all to see. Marketing gimmick, I'm sure.

Until recently, I didn't know the true meaning of "double coupon day." Mom always talked about it and I never gave it much thought. I always thought it meant you could use two of the same coupons for a product--not use ONE coupon and they'd DOUBLE it. Add it to the Robinisms list.

File it under the time I kept referring to the tremors after earthquakes as "aftershots" instead of aftershocks. We won't even go into deer having antennae instead of antlers.

08 December 2004

particle man, particle man


All I'm going to say is, that afro takes up 1/2 the picture. That's Diana, Mike and me. Posted by Hello

07 December 2004

make that 45 plates

In an effort to appease those at work, I bought my 40 sturdy plates the day after I was asked if I would bring them. Do you know how long I deliberated on the sturdiness and the quantity (quality v. quantity?) of those plates at Piggly Wiggly that night. Not to mention, my limited budget was preventing me from going all out and buying the expensive ones.

Regardless, I could not find any combo that would make 40, so I bought 3 packs of 15. Today at work, I found out that I have an informal interview at Georgia State next Friday, increased my hours at work, got a pay raise and then received a high-five from Linda, the one that asked me to bring the plates, once she saw my selection of 45 plates. I'm so good.

Later, I heard the secretary say that tomorrow is our "redneck informal Christmas party." This is pertaining to the fact that we're deep-frying turkey. As I was leaving, I noticed the 2 large tables had already been set up and complete with over-sized Christmas tablecloths. On the table sat my 45 sturdy plates, a jar of dill pickles, a jar of sliced pickles and a jar of olives.

My kind of meal.

ode to the grasshoppers


mmmm, grasshoppers. Posted by Hello

06 December 2004

i'm further north than south

I was the kid who touched his tongue to the square battery to see if it really did shock you. I was the kid who touched the electric fence just to see if the cows were really getting shocked. I was the kid who took a D-battery, unfolded a paper-clip, and touched both ends to the negative and positive nodes to see if it would really burn your fingers.

Today, I opened up my portable cd player and read the inscribed message,
"NEVER TOUCH THE LENS
NE JAMAIS TOUCHER LA LENTILLE
[and some Japanese writing which I'm guessing (but it's just a guess) says DO NOT TOUCH THE STUPID LENS]."

Yeah, I touched the lens. It still works. I don't see what the big deal is. Perhaps I did it because I'm so impaired from my tongue and arm being shocked and my fingers being burnt from my childhood.

05 December 2004


The infamous Adluh Flour sign in downtown Columbia that blinks persistently. Edited in Photoshop also. That equates to too much time on my hand all of the sudden. Posted by Hello

A Christmas tree that I snapped and then edited in Photoshop. I like it. Posted by Hello

make your home beautiful


Proof that the sign I mentioned last week was indeed real. I snapped this tonight. I think the glowing red adds a dramatic touch--you know, like you're really burning because it's 501 degrees. Perhaps they make carpets for Hell? "Make your home [in Hell] beautiful" should read the sign. Posted by Hello

04 December 2004

can't always hear a freight train

I ate generic Cocoa Krispies this morning--called Cocoa Dyno-Bites for breakfast. I have successfully cleaned inside the house for about 3 hours today. I am on my fourth load of laundry--been washing everything from clothes to towels to dust bunnies. I went jogging for 2.3 miles--only stopping once for a one-block length. I slept in. I rearranged the piles of junk on my floor to make it look like I actually cleaned. I made my bed with newly cleaned sheets. I emailed friends. I inhaled noxious fumes from the bathroom cleansers to the point that I couldn't taste or smell anything--still can't. I made a ham sandwich with mustard, ground pepper, onions, brown lettuce and, well, ham. I listened to a lot of music--still am: Counting Crows' Live from the 10spot cd. I read all the blogs that I have bookmarked and wondered why no one had posted today. Don't you feel obliged to post sometimes?

I thought about what to write on my blog and couldn't think of anything witty or important so I figured a list of events throughout the day would work just as well.

01 December 2004

HIQTPIE

Explain to me the fascination with Eggnog Lattes at Starbucks? Who would order that? Surely, this just adds to the "never ending list of food items that Rob will not touch" and you might be thinking that I'm idiotic. Go ahead--let me have it. I shuddered that the VENTI one of those sat next to my grande cafe mocha yesterday because for about 3 minutes, no one would claim it. Don't blame them.

And onto the next topic: would one reheat day-old coffee? I'm thinking, not just coffeecoffee, but something on the lines of latte or mocha.

I'm sure I'd warm my day-old Eggnog Latte just so it would percolate into the ground faster as I toss it out the back door.

ah HA! And on that note--Happy December First!

rabbit, rabbit.