31 January 2005
We're the best of friends.
I know that's not from the Luckenbach, TX song, but I like it too.
Happy February 1st. Long overdue February.
Tonight I almost yelled in Piggly Wiggly because it occurred to me that they didn't have multiple items that I needed. I was even prepared with a list and coupons. But my debit card worked, so, I'm thankful.
I constructed 2 clocks this weekend. One is of a Counting Crows cd and the other is a giant slab of lacquered redwood. Imagine that. I was productive.
I ran 5.0 miles tonight. What?? Must have been the PowerBar I had.
This is the random nonsense post if you hadn't noticed. Sorry to offend anyone who was looking for a deeply meaningful post. That's long gone today.
I went to lunch today at Just Fresh. It's in the tallest building in Columbia and I went by myself. When I left for lunch I had convinced myself, like always, that I wanted a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's. Upon entering my car and trekking down Assembly St at 1215 on a Monday, I thought otherwise and pulled onto Main St. where I found a great parking meter. I realized I only had a quarter and those are hard to come by these days. I actually searched under the seats in my car for a dime or a nickel but apparently I had used those. Why did that man steal my pocket change from my car when he broke into this past summer? He could have gotten my really cool plastic interior instead. He did take my cigarette lighter though. Not that I smoke or have any use for it. It's just nice to know that just in case I ever needed my lighter, it'd be in my coin change holder/cigarette-ashtray-drawer that really only ever held extra nickels, dimes and the occasional pennies that never got used except at Wendy's or McDonald's drive-thrus whenever you had the right amount of change. Oh, and my cigarette lighter. Anyways, I had to use my last remaining quarter at the parking meter because when I turned around, I noticed a meter maid lurking on the other side of the street. I ended up just eating in the restaurant overlooking 2 escalators, an indoor fountain and a glass wall that peered onto the State House lawn where random, important figures stared back at me in their stone-immobilized stances.
30 January 2005
Anyways, this morning blueberries were calling my name from the freezer. They wanted to be made into waffles. So, I answered their call and consumed them.
In the process, waffles #3 and #4 were finished being cooking and I opened the waffle door only to not see waffles #3 and #4. I actually let out a gasp and a small shriek until I realized they were stuck to the top of the iron. And then I laughed at how stupid I was. In the process of transferring waffle #4 to my plate, it fell on the floor and landed in the corner. Usually, the 5-second rule would apply, but it was the corner of the kitchen, next to the washer and a mop bucket and I really didn't think it was very clean there, so that's just 2.4 blueberries, 1/8 cup of waffle mix and 1/18 cup of water that I didn't consume for breakfast. It's the little things in life, like this, that makes my day just go round and round.
Speaking of round and round. I remember when I was young, I used to think about how the world turned. Not the soap opera, but the real factual as the world turned kind of thing. I convinced myself that during the night, the world actually turned but our house stayed in the same position and thus our backyard would be in the front and vice versa. Then, by morning, it would be back to normal and thus that's why I never saw that world actually turning. I remember actually waking up, walking to the back door and then realizing my hypothesis was inaccurate. The beginnings of a scientist?
My mom told me not too long ago that she remembers me leaning my head back so I could see the stars in the hatchback of our yellow Datsun and asking if the world stopped there. I believe I thought it was picture of stars and not the real thing.
29 January 2005
Ice Storm 2005. DOM DOM DOOOOOM.
Oh so dramatic weather.
At least I'll be able to take some really cool photos and even watch some Alias and drink coffee all day long because obviously, "any driving is discouraged" whenever there's ice in the vicinity.
27 January 2005
Wow, what a sad dilemma.
So, I conjure up a lengthy plan of taking the DVD back, renting season 2 of Alias (b/c after all, I received a free rental coupon for paying my late fees) then I'd go to the grocery store, get cash back after using my tainted debit card, then head over to Wendy's. I'm in Blockbuster, obviously looking like I'm going to rob the place because I suddenly become aware that, oh right, I had previously only rented the first volume of the first season of the show. There were 17 more episodes of the first season! I had watched the first volume (7 episodes) and thought, "wow, now that's a season finale cliffhanger if I ever saw one.." unbeknownst that so many more lurked on the shelf. I rented vol2, season1 after trying to decipher the coded words on the side of the rental similar to Ralphie decoding the Ovaltine message in A Christmas Story.
From there I convinced myself that I didn't want Wendy's because that last time I went to that particular location, they forgot my fries and I had to return. I find the grocery store, my debit card works on the first try, I receive my cash back, I saved $2.19, the cashier circles it on my receipt and then verbally acknowledges that I saved $2.19 just in case I didn't notice, and I depart on my way to another Wendy's. Upon arrival, I convince myself that I don't want to eat from there because the last time they put mayo on my sandwich when I clearly said "no mayo."
Cut to me driving to Quizno's, then canceling that, then driving to Jimmy John's where I also couldn't convince myself to eat from that establishment either. I drove to 4 restaurants and ended up going home to eat leftover pizza and a fake chicken caesar salad.
Today was Groundhog Day for me. At work, I couldn't WAIT to get home, watch Alias and then head to Quizno's. At 730, I'm out the door. After a futile attempt to find a parking space, I give up and head to Wendy's. I get so irate because I'm staring at the menu and waiting for some sign of life that I drive away furiously and stare at the drive-thru lady. Yes, I did go to Jimmy John's next and YES, I did grab a #1 with no mayo, add onions and then went home.
Do you want fries and a DVD of Alias with that Ovaltine?
26 January 2005
Funny statement overheard today from a nearby phone conversation:
"Oh, that phone fell into the bathtub last night."
I had my headphones on and I still heard that and cracked up laughing because it was so out of place.
Apparently we have a mole in the office. I'm thinking in terms of anything to do with the show Alias now by the way. Heh. I mentioned that the paper towel dispenser (the one that was beyond my intellectual capacity) was taped up last week in an effort to bypass the step of pushing the button for every two pulls of the lever.
Yesterday, to my astonishment, someone had stripped the tape from the button and thus, we have to exercise our conservation guilty minds each time we go for that extra 4 inches of brown, 60% post-consumer paper towel.
Then I go and read a CNN article about how San Francisco is contemplating charging for paper and plastic at supermarkets.
Round here something radiates..
25 January 2005
At work, there's an ongoing joyful exhibition of who likes Clemson and who likes Carolina. Currently the Clemson gang has tacked 2 newspaper printouts of Lou Holtz and Steve Spurrier to the side of the wall in the office nearby my desk. They are there for humorous reasons basically. For the past few weeks, I'll see in my peripheral vision someone walking by and then I'll see the pictures barrel in the breeze because they aren't tacked down completely. Eventually they will fall off and some unsuspecting victim who just happened to choose that moment in time to get that extra cup of coffee or go to the restroom will round the corner and see Spurrier lying on the floor with a tack near his side and feel guilty and put him back in his place.
Today on the Pam Stone show she discussed her latest saga with her new TiVo and how she cannot get it to function properly. It was so funny. She picked up her TiVo remote the other day and said "hello?" because she thought it was her phone.
Went to lunch with Karen today and had the following revelations:
-She proclaimed that her watch is not wireless.
-She will hit a car if it's pulling out in front of her/turning left on a red light/or running a red light regardless if there's children in the back seat.
-She told me that she's not the woman I'm going to marry.
Back at work, I realized that I received my second raise in a month. Yes, I said that I received another raise. Yes, a second one. No one informed me of it nor am I going to interrogate anyone at work about it. Just taking them as they come.
Then, somewhere around 230pm, the entire office went black..3 times within 10 seconds. It made my heart skip a beat. The power halted in the entire office and little gasps of breath and sighs and some expletives followed shortly thereafter. I rebooted my computer and opened my project only to realize that all of my files were now corrupted and my project was lost. Luckily, my office assistant managed to finagle some program to fix my shapefiles and therefore, about an hour later, everything was back to almost-normal. I only lost a day's worth of work. At some point of fixing the errors in the next hour, I became bored from the monotony and spent the rest of the afternoon reading CNN, MSNBC (why not?) and drinking water.
This brings me to the act of sneezing. Bless you. Stacey presented the question today as to if the pseudo-obligatory 'bless you' is necessary and questionable if you are doing it out of courtesy or if you are actually meaning it to be blessing them. My status is that if the person in the act of sneezing is within eye-shot, I will bless them. On some circumstances, I will hear someone behind me bellow out a deafening sneeze and I'll bless them. But face it, if I can't see you, you're screwed.
And speaking of sneezing, did you know that Nicole Kidman has a mortal fear of butterflies. See for yourself. It's at the bottom.
Did I encompass everything? Did I make everyone happy for posting? I try.
Oh, and I ran 4 miles tonight. Whew.
Next day's agenda: demotion, 8-tracks, aphids, buongiorno.
This morning, my I realized that on my Honey Nut Cheerio cereal box there was a whole different close tab from the one I remember all my life. If there's something to disappoint you in the morning..it's realizing that you tore the top of the cereal box trying to figure out how to punch through that stupid tab so that the box will close.
But alas, this one is completely different. It's easy. Kind of like those new tupperware commercials that show the lids closing with the push of your finger.
Time for work. I'm late. And yes, my debit card failed last night at Target. Before I could spit on it, the cashier took it and it worked on her machine. Apparently mine wasn't good enough.
23 January 2005
Last week we ran over 17.5 miles. My first 5k is this Saturday!
Today I ran into the bathroom door, my bedroom door, the refrigerator and stumbled over my shoes twice. I think something is wrong. Perhaps it's the cold weather and dehydration. As a result, I have probably drank 8 glasses of water and I wrapped myself up in a blanket and sat on the couch all day.
I watched the entire first season of Alias TODAY and have proclaimed it as one of my favorite shows. It's addictive.
I realized today that I enjoy taking the lint off of the lint catcher contrivance thing on my dryer. Last week, I realized that the duct behind my dryer had finagled loose and that for some duration, all of the steam was leaving my dryer and entering the kitchen. I'm sure that was a hazard of multiple sorts.
Now, onto more important topics: napkins.
This discussion of napkins happened last night at the Texas Roadhouse (one of 3 steakhouses that I cannot remember their names or where they are located until I'm in their parking lot because they are all the same to me). I dropped a piece of steak in my lap last night. Andy was surprised when my napkin didn't prevent the steak from reaching my pants. Here's the problem. I keep my napkin on my left leg. I always thought the napkin goes in your lap for the sole purpose of keeping it off the table. His defense was that the napkin should be spread across the lap at all times and apparently the majority of society does this and I'm just unaware of it.
My napkin felt as lost and oblivious as I did.
Apparently I fit the type who would bring my debit card inside, leave it with her AND steal gasoline.
Why has deciding on which bar of soap to purchase suddenly become so difficult?
The other day I was standing in the voluminous isle of wrapped bars of lye and I couldn't help but chuckle.
I mean, first of all do I get the 3-pack, the 6-pack, the 8-pack or do I simply save money on the 12-pack. But what if I don't like the scent. There's the risk factor.
The whole formula to this lye is ridiculous in itself. Is Dial really trying to pull one over the sheep's eyes with the different "Gold" and "White" bars? It says on the back that it's the same EXACT bar but a different color. Do you feel lavish if you have a GOLD bar?
"Yes, I wash with a gold bar."
Dial's latest lye product is "Citrus Sensation." It's "a burst of citrus invigoration." Really. GO EAT AN ORANGE!
The previous one was "Mountain Fresh." That slogan is "invigorating, outdoor, nature-inspired scent." Whatever. Nature-inspired is infinitesimal. Do you want to smell like a turkey farm? Okay.
Alas, I picked up the Irish Spring "Icy Burst" 3-pack and headed to the cashier..where undoubtedly, I believe my debit card was declined. This particular soap is supposed to provide a "cool, crisp scent which leaves [me] feeling refreshed and invigorated."
That's original. I was hoping to find some soap that made me feel lethargic.
21 January 2005
It worked, sadly.
This only means that the next time it happens, I'll probably do it again. I'm going to get a disease.
20 January 2005
Anyways, today it wouldn't work after 3 swipes. I handed it to the cashier who was oddly picking something out of his contact in his left eye and wasn't paying any attention to me. He placed my card inside a plastic grocery bag and proceeded to swipe the card. If you haven't witnessed this phenomenon, it's pretty cool. But alas, my card was destined to fail on me again. The first time I saw the plastic bag method was at Publix and it worked. The cashier tried 6 times.
Eventually, he pulled my card out and proceeded to wipe his saliva on the magnetic strip a few times. One more swipe. Voila, transaction complete.
I'm not quite sure what to think of that. I took the card from him and returned it to my wallet and quietly walked out of the store.
19 January 2005
It all started this morning when my mom forwarded me a 'dumb blonde joke.' I replied to my mom and my 2 sisters and thus a 'reply-all' email was our way of conversing for the rest of the day on this topic. This is what transpired throughout the next 8 hours and 18 emails.
Mom's original forwarded email:
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife, Susie, a cell phone for their first anniversary.
Susie was excited about the phone and the next day, while shopping, it rang and to her surprise, it was her husband.
"Hi, Susie," he said. "How do you like your new phone?"
Susie replied, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there's one thing I don't understand ..."
"What's that, sweetie?" asked her husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
I must have read that joke 20 times this morning before giving up and emailing the three of them because I was sure a line was missing..notably the punchline. Alas, I was wrong:
my first email:
I'm sorry, I don't get it. ive read it numerous times and I still don't get it.
ALL TOGETHER NOW.......... ROBIN!.......
I STILL DON'T GET IT!
Again...... ROBIN!.... Ask someone there (at work) to read it!
At this point I email Maria for advice:
ok mar. you gotta help me. my mom just sent me this fwd and when I didn't get it, I replied to her and my two sisters that I didn't get it. now it's becoming a robin moment b/c I'm stupid. haha. do you get it??
yes, I got it . . . it was it was really dumb . . . I had to reread it to make sure it was saying what I thought it was saying . . .hahaha . . .do you get it yet? or do I need to explain -- hahha
so upon reading that, I realized I must be dumb so I asked 2 coworkers and thus replied back to mom and 2 sisters:
Tracking device?? That's what they came up with at work.
Robin, are all of your co-workers blond? Quick, take a look around. Ok, She thought the only way the phone would work is if her husband dialed wal-mart's number because that is where she was. She didn't realize that all he had to do was dial the cell phone number and it would ring on her phone no matter where she was. Make sense? You have heard the phrase " dumb blond " hence all of the blond jokes. Still don't get it???
that still didn't help and I was left to fend on my own. after a few minutes it finally clicked:
sadly, I just figured it out. but this wasn't from your description..I had to read it over again. I consulted 3 people.
YES! I knew that brain would kick there sooner or later! Is everyone else there blondes???
cue one sister, Melanie:
Umm, mom? You know that Robin is a blonde too?
cue second sister, Bonnie:
alright robin, I read all of your replies here at work and now I am in tears....
also, you all should warn me when it is a robin moment... so I will not burst out laughing while I am supposed to be working...
It's okay, Bonnie. There's hope for you blondes. You can always dye your hair. Don't cry about it! ;-)
and you just think you are so funny... my blonde hair is from a bottle for the most part...
Um, duh. What is your point??!
My stomach hurts!
It didn't start out as a Robin moment. Remember he asked 3 co-workers what the answer was.
well this has just turned into the worst reply-all email we've had yet. I only started it because I thought there was some line missing form the original joke. at least I got it eventually.
We knew you would. It was jus the way you went about it that it fun for us!
We need to write a book.
Don't worry, I keep all of these.
And I wonder why I was made fun of when I saw the National Geographic magazine come in the mail that day when I was 12. I took the brown paper cover off and read the back of it phonetically as "taran tula" instead of tarantula.
"Can we bring drinks into your store?" I politely ask the overly-attentive lady behind the glass counter of the shop. I think she was happy to have guests.
"Oh yes, just don't put them down on anything," she quietly states as we walk into the bookstore part of the store.
5 minutes later, I spot Karen setting her 3/4 full cup of coke onto a bookshelf as she retrieves a Richard Kipling book from 1901 that isn't for sale. I tell her that we aren't supposed to set our drinks down and I calmly pick up the cup and hold it in my other hand.
No later than 5 seconds pass and the cup completely falls from my hand and the 3/4 amount of coke is now living its last breath of life on the dingy grey carpet below our feet. I felt so embarrassed. Fortunately, she finds the woman in the lobby who just so happens to have a roll of paper towels. She comes back with 3 and a statement that the lady had also spilled water in the lobby at that moment. Coincidence.
I return for more paper towels and she hands me 2 more. Really, unless these are the ultra-strength Bounty ones, I'm sure the 5 we have are not going to be enough. I just didn't want the lady to see the mess we made. I had to return for a 3rd time and eventually she handed me a brand new roll. We were on our hands and knees for about 5 minutes soaking up the coke. All the while, I was just wanting to walk out the door and not make eye contact and never return. But alas, I felt guilty so then we had to walk around the store for 10 minutes and admire items before exiting.
We would not have passed one of those tests on the paper towel commercials.
18 January 2005
Oh, but on a really exciting note. I kept hearing the garbage truck all morning. All I could think about was the how the trash in the kitchen was almost to that critical trash-taking stage but it could have gone another day but since the garbage truck was nearby, it made sense for it to be there rather than in the big garbage dispenser on the street for another 7 days. So, on the way to the car, I took threw the bag out the door and ran back in to grab my gloves (see, told you it was cold) and then I ran back inside again to grab my heavy jacket. I started my car and went back for the garbage when I noticed the truck was parking right outside the driveway. Oh no! What if they won't take my garbage? The horror!
I could just picture myself standing there with one glove on holding a white trash bag and an empty Papa John's pizza box with a grimacing look upon my face and them driving away. This was not the case as I increased my speed and calmly placed the aforementioned items in the green receptacle and walked away.
As I was walking to my warming car I heard my garbage being lifted into the truck and I heard it saying "arrivederci!" because obviously, my garbage speaks Italian.
17 January 2005
Which brings to me to standing in the aisle at Target contemplating why society shoves upon us 26 different varieties of toilet paper. 12 single rolls. 24 double rolls. 3 triple rolls. They even make scented rolls now. 17 3/4 double Wild Mountain rolls! Oh, I want THAT one.
Which inturn brings me to why we have to watch that blasted commercial where the bears are in need of toilet paper and have to stand behind the trees.
Why must we watch that and why do they need that? Are we really promoting it that well?
16 January 2005
Upon the fourth Checkers game of the weekend with Stacey, this surprising turn of events took place--a draw. I can't decide if it's bad that we made it to this place and had no moves because we are both that bad OR if it's good because we are both that good. It's strikingly similar in disappointment when a game of Tic-Tac-Toe is suddenly halted because of no more moves. For some reason, we always used to call that "cat." Why? Am I the only one that called it that? We'd even draw a "C" on the board and continue with another game.
After this game, one more was played and the weekend Checkers Tournment ended on a good note for me.. I won 3-1-1.
15 January 2005
Then I ran 3.275 miles with Kris on the Fiddler 5K route and I can actually proclaim that I ran a 5K.. but it was undocumented. I guess when we actually DO run the Fiddler 5K, they can take our time and then I'll officially proclaim on here that I ran a 5K. Make sense? Kris saying "come on Rob. Don't let a girl beat you" as she sprinted up the slight hill to the caution light (our goal) made me sprint all the more and we ran so hard to that stupid light. Some high school drama kids were on the sidewalk and were laughing at us. I mean, who wouldn't laugh at us. I was wearing grey Adidas non-running (but felt good for running) pants and a wicking blue shirt and she was wearing shorts and a fleece and we're running like a wild pack of wombats are after us and our only saving grace is the caution light in front of the Blatt PE center.
Geology Stacey, her husband Ry and their dog Daisy are visiting now from Raleigh. She and I played some Trivial Pursuit and I was actually winning before we realized just how stupid we were and quit for a game of Phase 10. With that game, I lost due to a gap in the points although we both succeeded in the final phase. Then, I was killed at Mortal Combat by she and her husband, Ry. I don't know what to do now. Perhaps solitaire will be my victor. Ah but Miller Life helped ease the loss.
I'm upset that the warm weather has ended abruptly with the passage of a squall line last night and the cold front this afternoon which definitely changed the weather after lunch. It's cold now. I forgot we were in winter.
Like Alt-Country music? Try Son Volt. They are up there with the ranks of Wilco. Should be since the lead singer was in a band with the lead singer of Wilco.
13 January 2005
'What's your major?'
(because obviously I must go to USC since I have check from them)
"Oh, I've already graduated. Geology."
'So, you look at rocks?'
I actually said, "Yes, yes I do" without really considering if I really DO look at rocks. Yes, I wake up staring a granite. Around lunchtime I beckon for some shale. Around 3pm I switch to looking at an amphibole. It's a long day of 'looking at rocks.'
And on a sidenote, I'm sitting the office this morning overhearing some laughter about tape and how a solution has risen. Not knowing what is going on, I head to restroom a few hours later and am about to reach for a paper towel when I notice that someone has very rigorously taped the button on the dispenser, thus allowing for free pull without the locking mechanism kicking in. Hallelujah!
12 January 2005
I emailed Pam Stone this morning regarding the songs that I hear on the online broadcast every morning. It was mostly to say how hilarious I find the songs every morning at the same time. Well, she emailed me tonight! I didn't know people actually wrote back to you.
Wednesday, January 12, 2005 11:26 AM
To: Pam Stone
Subject: [WLNK-ps] commercial break songs
I listen to The Pam Stone show every morning while at work--online. Have you ever listened to the online stream? They play the same songs every day. It's to the point where I know when and what the next songis.
I was prompted to tell you after you exclaimed how much you enjoyed the U2 "Vertigo" song earlier. I get to hear those songs in addition theother ones as well.
Everyday I can't wait to hear Peter Frampton's "Ooh, Baby I Love the way..everyday." (note the sarcasm)
This is closely followed by Sophie B. Hawkins' "As I Lay Me Down to Sleep" which starts out.."It felt like springtime on this February morning.."
They are drilled into my brain!
And here was her reply:
Consider it done! ~ I forwarded this to "Hey Buddy" and he was like,"Whoops! We'll make sure that gets changed!"
She's my idol now. hahah. I'm just thinking she'll talk about it tomorrow on the show.
11 January 2005
Not once, but twice did I see an advertisement today for a new pogo stick that is apparently hitting the shelves. Are those things really making a comeback? Do you remember actually using a pogo stick? How incredibly important was it that we needed to jump around on a spring?
Well, I had one.
Again today I had stood in front of the paper towel dispenser and pushed the button and pulled the lever twice. I felt like a robot.
One exciting moment of the day came when I discovered (all by myself) that a NEW Quizno's Subs opened RIGHT DOWN THE STREET. Needless to say, after a 2.8 mile run, I rewarded myself there for dinner tonight. I even added jalapenos to my honey mustard chicken with bacon sub. I mean, it doesn't get much better than my favorite restaurant opening up nearly across the street from Starbucks. Commercialism or commercialism?
You know when there's a big ribbon-cutting ceremony and they always show 10 people gathered around a ribbon and these BIG scissors? What happens to those BIG scissors? Do they go to the BIG scissor heaven in the sky? Are they disassembled and made into Ginsu2000 knife sets?
Today in Columbia, we reached a high of 70 degrees. Another unseasonably warm day but we're not complainin'! Oh, but let's take a look at the rainbucket. We have 0.01 so far this month. That means, we're back in the negative to start off the new year. We desperately need the rain now.
I'm also unsure how I could help the situation but I feel like it's all my fault.
10 January 2005
So with our superfluous soap comes the latest attraction: a new paper towel dispenser. We needed a new one because apparently the last one was taking too long to dispense paper towels and lines were forming in the bathroom again? Right. Anyways, whatever, I knew something was new from my peripheral vision. I washed my hands and reached for the paper towel but there are none are to be found. Blasted! It's one of those rolling dispensers where you crank out the towel. Why those were invented, I'm not sure. I know people weren't having so much difficulty reaching for their own paper towel that we had to crank them out on a wheel.
Regardless, I'm still standing there stupefied until I read something that warranted way too much laughter for me to be standing in the bathroom alone. Well, I was in there with 2 soap dispensers and 1 paper towel dispenser, so they heard me laugh. On the towel contraption was an instruction label that read:
Push button once.
Pull lever twice.
And on the far right side was a button and below it was a lever. I complete the two instructions thinking I was playing a game and the finishing the task yielded a prize. Instead, I received an 8-inch long paper towel. One. I go to push the lever again but it's locked. The stupid thing locks. Really, is it that necessary to lock it after 2 pushes on the lever? Are we really preventing the misuse of this contraption? Did they think we weren't going to push the button again and pull the lever two more times to get another piece of paper?
The best part is, someone had previously brought in a brand new roll of paper towel probably from Wal-Mart and had them placed next to the sink. I bet they had the same problem. Honestly, is life this complicated that we need to push a button and pull a lever twice to dispense an inadequate amount of 60% post-consumer recycled paper towel?
09 January 2005
I loathe washing colanders.
I can't sit on my knees on hardwood floors.
I don't like typing the + and = key because I can never remember which one occurs with/without the shift key depressed.
I hate touching duct tape.
Apparently I stir my chocolate milk too loudly.
I used to think it was duck tape.
That's not saying much, though.
I bought an old Wilco cd this weekend.
I like being sunburned.
I cannot stand to touch raw chicken. I did it tonight though. Is it considered "raw" once the chicken dies? Or is it just always raw until it's cooked?
The things I wonder.
And, apparently I stir my chocolate milk too loudly.
Just cracks me up. Laura looks like she's about to burst into some hysterical laughter and is holding it in. Leigh is wearing her socks from the Wicked Witch of the North-East (I think the other ones have all been taken). Kris, well, I think she was doing a Stevie Wonder impression? Or maybe she was playing charades and was pretending to be a blind dinosaur and Laura and Leigh were compeltely oblivious. Yes, yes that's it.
07 January 2005
Last night I was going to dine with Andy and Kris. Andy and I were driving down the interstate to meet Kris when I was telling him about the loud noise that persisted in my car above speeds of 60mph. Cue the tire explosion noise. Now picture me in the far left lane of the 4 lanes on I-126 with a blown tire, in the dark. We ride on the rim for a good 50 yards before I could make it to the center median. After some contemplation of changing it, we decided to begin. The tire was on the right side, thus we'd have to be extremely close to the 4 lanes of traffic buzzing by. All I could think about were those devastating FOX cop shows that show just what goes wrong on the roads. Luckily, our tax money goes towards something--like the nice cop that stopped behind us and shined the flashlight on the tire for us. The tire was wrapped around the axle and was gripping the parking brake cable in it's hands. Thus, my parking brake would not move. Anyways, we maneuvered it, changed the tire and drove to the nearest gas station to put air in the spare because it was low. Go figure, huh?
We went to dinner. I ate ribs from a restaurant for the first time. I've only had homemade. On the way home, it was decided that a journey to Wal-Mart was in order. Cue a weird whirley noise coming from the spare tire region. At the next light, my brakes failed almost completely. I hit the brake, nothing happened, hit the brake again, and I got some friction. I've never felt my heart jump that much before. I've been scared at movies and such, but my chest actually hurt for a good minute. We sat in the parking lot of Wal-Mart and realized that this would be our new home for a while.
This morning my car had to be towed to a garage and checked out. I received a new tire and the guys told me that my brakes were fine.
"We drove it around for 10 minutes and it never failed. We couldn't find anything wrong. Just drive it around and be cautious. Oh, and the parking brake won't work anymore."
Well, I feel safe now.
06 January 2005
I find coffee somewhere. This coffee can be from home (although yesterday when I made it, I severely screwed it up), from Starbucks (as in this morning, thanks to Maria's gift card) or from the break room at work (this is my last resort because it's technically $0.35 and I feel guilty because I don't carry change around with me on a regular basis).
I make it to work and check my email. I check MSNBC. I check CNN. I read a lot of articles.
Then, it happens. I open up the live broadcast of 107.9thelink and listen to the finale of Bob&Sheri. Then at 10am the Pam Stone show airs. It's the funniest thing on radio. Today I started laughing so hard. I didn't want to bring attention to myself. I started that holding-back-laughter. That only makes it worse because it builds. She was talking about a guy who took off his artificial leg and made a "plop" sound. And the way she was describing it, all I could do was picture someone taking off their leg and hearing a "plop" sound. At 12, I depart for lunch. At 1, I listen to a cd or two of my choice from 1-3pm. At 3pm the Matt&Ramona show airs and I listen to it until 5. Throw in a little actual "work" and it's an 8-hr day at the USDA! Then I go running 2+ miles. It's an easy protocol.
Now, the interesting part comes when I'm actually listening to the radio station because I'm listening to it online. And since it's online, they can't play the commercials that regularly play on the station. I've mentioned this before..and I remember being very excited about this notion because they play songs. Well, all good things must come to an end like when you run out of Peter Pan Plus peanut butter. The breaks play the SAME songs everyday. Really, there's never a change. It's to the point that I can tell what song is next.
Somewhere around 11am, they stop talking and say,
"ohh, it's time for a break, we'll be right back with more from the funny farm.."
Then, it occurs. Like everyday at that particular break. The song starts. I hear it. Why do they play THAT song?
"It felt like springtime on this February mornin.' In the courtyard birds were singin your praise.."
Then around 1115am, just like everyday, another one stars. This time it's Peter Frampton. WHY!?
"Oooh, baby I love the way..everyday.."
Do you know how many times I've heard these songs?
That rumor about sneezing--the one where if you open your eyes while sneezing, they will pop out--you know that one? Well, why don't our contacts pop out when we sneeze.
Oh, it's 1155am. Time for Paula Cole.."so open up your morning eyes..and say a little prayer for I.."
Wow, three comments in one morning. I AM popular. keep em coming. I enjoy comments. ok, now MY comments:
1) I wasn't dividing 650 by 2. I was subtracting 325 from 650 because 650 is in my account and rent (325) hadn't gone through yet, so I was curious as to how much I actually had..This due to the fact that I still have to pay my student loan check in few days. Howcome I only know 10 more GRE words than you?
2) kngrooms is a new addict. It's always interesting when they proclaim it. And then that's when the pressure builds up for me to actually post enough.
3) I HATE the Accessories calculator..still. I won't change my opinion. I always press the wrong button or it seems that it isn't 'equaling' because it's finicky.
And currently I'm at work--proving that I can't stop my obsession with this blog. I have only blogged ONCE at work. But when I see a comment I get excited. Or three.
So tonight I was using it (instead of picking up my actual full-of-life calculator that's a mere 10 inches away) when I became irate. Who knew that a simple subtraction could throw me for a loop.
I press 650
I press -
I press 325
I press =
I see 325
This doesn't click in my head. I see 325 and think "oh, you stupid calculator, what's wrong with you this time? I know I didn't do anything wrong!"
I see 325
Do you know that it took me 6 tries (doing it the exact same way and even closing the calculator and starting over from scratch) before I realized that 650-325 was indeed 325?
The things I go through each and every day should be accounted for in a coffee table book for the public.
A video game that consumed my life for the first week of the New Year. I get so angered when I cannot complete a level that I abandon the game altogether and yell loudly. Other things in the picture that have consumed my life lately: the plants in the top left corner. They were starting to die, so were moved outside in the 70-deg WINTER temperatures..and now they look worse than before. Also, the DVD's that were added to the collection (can't see below the tv) are Willy Wonka, Tremors, Master & Commander, Jeremiah Johnson, Napoleon Dynamite and my favorite, Garden State.
04 January 2005
I do my push-ups almost daily..with the exception of the past 2 weeks. haha. Anyways, I complete 1 set of 10. Then another set of 10. After stretching I'm ready for another set of 10.
1-push-up, 2-push-up, 3-push.. and then it happened. A GIANT cockroach is RIGHT BELOW MY FACE. I'm talkin, the-size-of-a-twice-whatever-size-you're-imagining-it-could-be-sized-palmetto-bug. Where was it the first 2 sets? And where was it when I collapsed on the floor afterward I finished those?? These questions will remain unanswered as I politely decimated it with my tennis shoe. It's still on the floor too.
And in that way that something gross makes you lose your appetite, I have lost my urge to continue doing push-ups tonight.
Ah well..off to buy groceries!
I was all excited and ready to walk out the door with my coffee in hand in my Sponegebob and Patrick thermos this morning. Then I'm sitting in my car and I realize that at some point I sat the thermos down inside the house and completely forgot it. Luckily, I was taking Andy to work and I realized my coffee absence as he was getting back in the car because the building he was supposed to be entering was locked and I had to take him back home. Whew.
So, I was all excited to be reunited with my coffee as it was approaching 915 in the am and I was sitting at work when I realized that every sip of coffee tasted like Clorox. Distasteful.
I finally received my raise at work. That's a much needed raise as my first student loan repayment begins in 12 days. I drove around with an empty gas tank today because I was afraid to buy gas while my paycheck was clearing. I hate that feeling. Luckily, tomorrow morning I'll stop at the BP to replenish my automobile. That is, unless I run out of in 2 miles. I've already painted the scenario in my mind. And I can go buy some chicken at Sam's! This is what I look forward to while sitting at work most of the days.
We've been basking in the mid-70's for the past few days..and the trend is expected to continue into next weekend. Early spring? HA. Mark my word, this is an El Nino year and I'm predicting a big ol icestorm in February. I can feel it in my patellas and my double-jointed thumbs.
I also realize that I tend to write blogs in the early morning hours (noting the time) and I say "today" or "this morning" and it typically means the day that I'm still in..meaning, since I didn't go to sleep yet, then it's still "today." I worry sometimes.
I do math equations in the morning when my alarm is sounding. I don't understand what my mind does in the morning. It's the most bizarre occurrence. Sometimes I even convince myself that the alarm is another audible noise and I'm witnessing it in my dream. Last week I convinced myself that my alarm had changed settings for that particular morning and it was sounding at a different rate thus I needed to be awake the next time around just so I'd know if it was truly consistent.
I really wanted to dine at Quizno's Subs today. I'm one stamp away from $5 off my next meal. I wonder if that means I buy my next meal and then hand them the card at that moment and it's $5 off? Essentially, it's the same thing, right because ultimately, I'm going to be buying that next meal and it's going to be full price. They are just losing that $5 one meal ahead of time. It's not like I'm going to get my $5 off and then halt my Quizno's dining.
"Blue Harvest" was the disguised name of the Star Wars Episode VI by the way. Slight incognito I'd say.
02 January 2005
Ok, now it's 250 am. I have nothing exciting to say about this time except that it took me 3 minutes to type the paragraph above. Not that that is really exciting either though.
I saw The Aviator tonight. 3 hours later and some hurtin' knees, it's safe to say that I really enjoyed the movie. A trip to the Waffle House with Andy and Meghan was in order afterwards. We watched a man get arrested outside the gas station next door while 3 cops patrolled the area. We even had our own Waffle House cop in the restaurant with us. I felt very safe. She could have drop-kicked anyone at anytime--I could tell.