30 March 2005


spiderweb and bamboo Posted by Hello


more pear tree business. Posted by Hello

and when she walks, the ground goes bah bah bah bah bah

I ran for a solid hour today. I need to tell you that. I pushed myself. It's in anticipation of the biggest road race yet--the Cooper River Bridge Run. It'll be my first 10K. And it's this Saturday. My knees are not excited tonight.

As for American Idol, I said it early on how I thought Carrie would win. That was proved yet again tonight.

And now for your idiom lesson of the night. Today I heard the one about the pot and the kettle talking and one calling the other black. Well, I suppose it's "the pot calling the kettle black." Do you know how many times I've heard that and stopped listening to what the person was actually talking about so I could decode that statement?

I'd prefer to call the kettle hot, if you don't mind.

Happy Birthday Kris!

29 March 2005

mr. blue sky

Yesterday I fell victim for those blue flush caplets for toilets. We don't need them, but I was standing at the grocery store and felt compelled to buy one. Attempting to actually use it tonight, I realized that I actually had to remove the top of the toilet, flush the toilet once, wait for the water to drain, then quickly toss in the blue hockey disc-shaped caplet made of who knows what into the bottom of the toilet. The directions clearly stated that the caplet had to be the furthest distance "from the valve.. or toiletmechanism." Yes, toiletmechanism is a new word that has been invented by the flushable blue caplet manufacturers.

Anyways, so I removed the porcelain top, flushed the toilet once, waited for the valve to close and proceeded to toss in the caplet quickly. Of course, I had forgotten to open the package so I did the last part in a frantic. I suppose I was thinking that I only had one try. Surely, I couldn't flush it again. In the sudden quick flash, I strategically placed the hockey puck on the porcelain side and let it glide much like a tactical game of Plinko on The Price is Right.

Wouldn't you know it--the stupid thing landed right beside the valve. I'm sorry, the toiletmechanism. And there it will remain because I am not taking any further course of action. Of course now the water is blue and I'm uncomfortable about that.


Bradford pear tree at my parents house. Kind of a busy pic. Posted by Hello


Rachel and Laura making fun of themselves 15 years ago. There's nothing like finding old videos from primary school. Posted by Hello


Flashback to 1989 with me to 2nd grade where I'm singing the ah, ever-popular folk song "There's a Hole in the Bucket." Gees. Posted by Hello

28 March 2005

frogs, marmots, paper towels.. ah, oh my?

5 days before Daylight Saving Time ends, or begins, and it's 48 degrees outside and about 60 inside the house. Good thing we turned the gas off last week!

The fact that I indulged in pretty much the exact conversation (seen here on Rachel's old post) about the same topic (marmots, marsupials, burrowing rodents), with the same two people (Rachel and Laura) at the exact same restaurant (some Mexican one in Greenville) as I did 2 months ago..inevitably means that the three of us should never go into zoology nor should we tell anyone that we were ever took AP classes or that we thought we ever assumed we were smart.

Speaking of chocolate wafers, I stumbled upon this link discussing blogging being like a frog at an airport. Good reading.

The paper towel dispenser in the men's bathroom at work has officially broke. It's an exciting day. Well, unless you're the paper towel conservative of the office. Whoever he may be.

25 March 2005

Study it carefully. It's really my computer and no it's not transparent. When I saw a site where some person actually did this, I instantly knew it was my next creative attempt. Of course, I suppose I could have cleaned up a bit before I took the pic. Posted by Hello

turn, turn we almost become dizzy

Have you ever been sitting at an intersection waiting on the red light to change to green and looked around? Last night I was staring up.

It was around 10pm so it was getting late. This particular intersection of three and a half roads created quite a sight. There's already six lights hovering over the warm asphalt that direct traffic. But at some point during the day, they (the ones we don't know about) placed six more lights in various locales along the highwire powerlines. Only thing is, the new addenda were all shrouded in tan, burlap-looking veneers. It's like they (perhaps little gnomes that erect traffic lights during the day) placed the new lights up because the elder lights had grown weary of changing from red to green every day. Or perhaps the yellow had faded and was no longer the color of the Livestrong bracelets. Obviously there was a problem.

But what gets me is that the new ones had to be cloaked in that fabric for who knows how long. It must be to adjust. Not for us to adjust because obviously we've adjusted to lights. But for the lights to adjust. They have to remain in that cloak for some duration much like when you buy fish from the pet store and you keep the fish in the bag of water and place the whole thing inside the fish tank so the water temperature can equalize and the fish can adjust. Then you can tear open the bag and let the fish be content with the water it's known on the ride home and the hopefully dechlorinated water in the tank.

Perhaps there will be a big cloak-ripping ceremony to reveal six new lights sometime soon. Or maybe it'll all happen during the night when no one is watching. Then someone will undoubtedly say, "Hey, look at that shiny new light. It matches those Livestrong bracelet."

23 March 2005

thousand miles from nowhere

I don't know what's worse. The fact that I watched American Idol last night or the fact that I watched the rebroadcast of last night's episode and taped Alias in the process. Come on, Carrie's version of Heart's 'Alone'? Yeah. I downloaded that song tonight.

There's nothing like working 8 hours, then going for a nice 4 mile run, then coming home and cutting the grass in the yard until the sun goes down, yet still cutting by the light of the security light in the back and then settling down to watch tv. I'm active. Really.

So this brings me to the question of what qualifies as visiting a state? It seems my map left me with the burning question. I've camped in some states en route to others, so does that not mean I've visited them?

Do you know how excited I got when I realized it was tornado season? And do you know how bummed I got when I realized I no longer have The Weather Channel. I can't keep track of storms in Nebraska. I can't keep track of hurricane warnings in Florida (starts June 1st!). I can't keep track of Jennifer Lopez. No really. She's a real weathergirl. Go see for yourself. See what the hype is about. You'll be hooked.

22 March 2005

just believe

I used to kite in our backyard when growing up. Of course, the backyard was 56 acres..but I'm talking about the part closest to the house..immediately after the garden. It was a cow pasture back then. I think there was also horse in that field at one point too. Now it's a large strawberry farm.

Anyways, I used to kite there. It was usually on Saturday afternoons. I'd be content in some other childhood activity (like roaming the field with my metal detector and discovering rusty plow parts and nails) and then suddenly realize that it was windy and I should be flying a kite instead. So I'd run back in the house, retrieve the kite, run back out, have the kite flying and then grow tired after a while then force the kite into a nosedive into the crab grass below. I abhorred having to wind the string back onto the reel.

I recall the first time I was at the Feltman's house (neighbors) and they realized it was windy and kite weather was imminent. Much to my surprise they had some weird way of forcing the kite upward into the sky. One person would hold the kite and the other person (a good distance away) would hold the line very taught. Then they would let go of the kite and it would rocket upward.

It sure beat running wildly through the crab grass trying to get a piece of plastic and two pieces of wood to fly.

Pardon me, I went to see Finding Neverland tonight and it inspired me. Just believe.

where are you going where have you been

create your own visited states map

why is this so fascinating??

oddly enough, i've never sat down to see all the states i've been to and now i realize that i have been so close to some (wash/oreg) and have completely pretended about others (the entire NE minus PA). but what gets me is that poor ol' north dakota is all in it's lonesome.

i've been to 74% of the states though.

i think i've expanded my horizons.
Posted by Hello

21 March 2005

myself, rachel and andy Posted by Hello

18 March 2005

no name streets

Yesterday while anticipating a movie to begin in the theater, a woman walked in with three children and suddenly shouted, "That's Monty! Uncle Monty's singing up there!!"

She was exclaiming this sudden realization because obviously she was related to whoever it was singing that awful song on movie radio station. It's one thing we have to hear those songs and that over-happy discjockey announcing the songs, then we are forced to play movie trivia on the screen. How many times do you have to find out that Michael Jackson purchased a bottle of perfume for Elizabeth Taylor for $80,000? More importantly, why is that movie trivia and why do we even need to know it? At least they show something before the lights dim half way and show the other set of commercials.

Back to Monty. The song ends and the happy DJ announces that it was Monty someone from the group Christmas Balls. That cracked me up as I sat in the cold theater. The woman and her kids were sitting at the very top of the theater and I heard her shout, "see, I told you it was Uncle Monty!!"

23 seconds later a phone conversation transpires in the back of the theater to Uncle Monty's voicemail exclaiming, "MONTY! It's Linda! We just heard your Christmas Balls' song at the theater for the second time!!"

Gees. Keep your voice down. There's people trying to figure out why Elizabeth Taylor needed perfume from Michael Jackson.

17 March 2005

travel size

On Wednesday, the Senate voted FOR opening the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge for oil drilling. It was a 51-49 vote. Clearly, if it was that close, there must be a problem. It calls for 1.5 million acres of the vast 19.6 million in the refuge. The latest that the US would benefit from the oil would be a distant decade from now. 51-49! My goodness.

Maybe Congress could focus more on the 20 million barrels of oil that the US uses on a daily basis first. There's still a chance that it could pass through some remaining hurdles and be prevented. Time will tell. Meanwhile, we'll just keep driving.

I'm not trying to go psycho-environmental on everyone because I do use that extra 3rd paper towel at work, but I just felt like stating my opinion since it appealed to me.

On a lighter note, I think everyone should witness me attempting to figure out how to put a newly washed slipcover back on a large couch. It took me 20 minutes. Don't even get me started on the futon cover. It's an amazing feat for me and would warrant quite a few laughs.

16 March 2005

solo Posted by Hello

breaker breaker 1-9

They are calling for sleet tonight. Not that it's that big of a deal, but it was 81 degrees here on Sunday. March weather, it's a viscous cycle. Maybe tonight I'll build a sleetman instead of a snowman. Of course, knowing SC weather, we'll get 3 pellets of sleet and life will disrupt and the rain will set back in. So, I'll make a rainman. Or I could just go rent Rainman and call it a night.

Why do the contestants on American Idol insist on holding up their respected digits while the host is telling us what phone number to call AND it's flashing on the screen? Do they think the audience doesn't see it at the bottom the whole time they are singing and at the end? Yet they still insist on holding up 2 fingers or even better, 12 fingers. Hah.

Happy Birthday RACHEL!

15 March 2005


This morning I was walking up the sidewalk and about to walk into the door at work when I noticed something lying on the sidewalk. It was a playing card. The ten of hearts.

Random, I know. I can't think of why of it was lying there as I was walking into one of the side doors. Surely no children had been playing Go Fish on that particular piece of slanted concrete prior to my arrival. Why had no one else spotted it and thrown it away in effort to heed littering? Alas, there it was, face-up, staring at me. I grinned and walked inside where I began my 8-hour workday.

This is the part where I started thinking about that card and realized that with a little help from google, I could determine the fate of the ten of hearts. The internet is infallible, right? Well, I have narrowed down every extreme that the ten of hearts signifies.

Isolation, loneliness, desperation, unending sadness; good hearts; reliable friendship; a town; happiness, pleasure, joy.

So, I've got nothing here. And on my departure out the same door on my way to work, the card was gone. The residual smell of smoke lingered near the sidewalk. Perhaps the last employee taking a smoke break was pondering why the card was there and decided keep it.

Or maybe the queen of spades remembered she had forgot to count her kids this morning and realized ol' ten was missing and filed a missing card report. Then ol' ten was found with only a few small abrasions from sliding down the slanted, brash concrete during the morning rush. But she still had all of her hearts.

14 March 2005

tina come get some ham!

I pour my milk in my cereal bowl before I put my cereal in it. There. Is that so difficult? Do you know how many people stop what they are doing and tell me that it's wrong? Was there a book invented that I missed? I googled this phenomenon and found one site that stated "pouring milk into the bowl before the cereal is WRONG and disrupts the natural flow of things.."

Now that's just wrong. HA.

On Friday I managed to grab some coffee at Starbucks on my way to work for lack of making my own at home. Yes, making regular coffee would have been a lot faster than driving out of the way and asking the mochamaker for my select drink. Anyways, I thought everything had went smooth until I was sitting at work. I had finished my drink and was about to read the thought-provoking quotation on the cup, when I noticed that written in Sharpie, above the quotation, was none other than..



(just a mumbled alter-ego)

12 March 2005

i dig rock and roll music

Have you seen that Listerine commercial where the guy is gargling Listerine and the narrator is intent on making the guy keep the stuff in his mouth for 30 seconds? Yeah, I tried it. I haven't convince myself to actually measure the actual allotment of Listerine, so instead I took a big swig the first time. More like 1/4 of a cup. That was a mistake. The next day I tried it again by filling the actual cap up with it. Still couldn't manage. It must be the alcohol ingredient that burns and stings so much. Now I can only manage a thimble full and I can barely last the 30 seconds that it recommends.

I think it was the thought that it kills millions of germs on contact that convinced me to purchase it. But if it kills millions on contact, then why must we gargle for the extra 29 seconds? I think a million dead germs is fine with me.

10 March 2005

09 March 2005

what's the frequency, kenneth?

Today I realized that my shopping yesterday at Wal-Mart should be further documented. I don't shop at Wal-Mart as much as I used to. I've toned it down to about once every two months. But there's inevitably just something you need there and you just happen to need groceries simultaneously. So you could end up like me yesterday with these 10 items in the buggy, yes, the buggy:

an onion, coffee creamer, seat covers, 1 pound ground beef, diced tomatoes, hubcaps, cheddar cheese, clorox, croutons, mirror

There's nothing like it. My shopping experiences are priceless. I may even venture to Starbucks in the morning.

No subliminal messages today. Unless my shopping list has made you feel the need to drive away to buy diced tomatoes, clorox and hubcaps. And if that IS the case, then please tell me because one of us has issues.

There was a great special on Dan Rather tonight on CBS. I was very intrigued. I even watched his final news report. How often can you say that you watched two of the most recognized news reporters of our generation step down within 4 months of each other?

Happy Birthday, Lauren.

08 March 2005

miniature seven

Shallow day. I'll just go ahead and admit that I bought hubcaps at Wal-Mart this evening. And I wasn't bashful about buying them. And they look nice. I'm not going for anything spectacular, but anything was an improvement from my previous "wheel coverings" (as the box stated). I was a 3-hubcap driver for a few months because one mysteriously vanished after my tire blowout on the interstate. The remaining three were cracked and missing pieces from my careless daily parallel parking that I quasi-mastered while working at the USDA the past year. Now I park in the parking lot instead.

In addition to the hubcaps, I also purchased new seat covers and a passenger side mirror replacement. Although I definitely took the cheap way out on the latter. I bought the cut-your-own adhesive glass. That mirror has been broken for a while. And tomorrow morning while I'm at happy at work, my insurance is paying for my windshield to be replaced. A small rock/bolt/whatever-fell-off-a-truck put a small knick in my windshield 3 weeks ago. Yesterday it developed a rather large crack. Today, I blamed the second crack on the garbage truck who was tossing the large dumpster around like it was a 3-year old and a Tonka truck. The vibrations just made it crack. I'm positive. And it made me grumpy as I drove away on my lunch break.

This makes the 4th time I've had to replace a windshield/window in 4 years. Baseball bat, cold temperatures, theft and now rock/bolt/object from truck have been the culprits.

I've been sneezy all day and while I should go to the doc, I'm just going to remain optimistic for the rest of the week and pretend I'm not sick. I did manage to take some allergy medicine this morning prior to my coffee, so I'm sure the countered each other and therefore I wasn't dopey OR jittery.

Now that I'm sleepy I should journey into slumber. I should also say that the paperclip is a symbol of pride in Norway. You do learn stuff on the radio.

Can you name all the seven dwarfs? I tried earlier, but only could come up with six. I wonder if it says anything about you when you can't remember one out of six. The one I forgot was Happy.

Speaking of subliminal messages (the arrow keeps on ticking away at you guys), all of the seven dwarfs are listed in what you just read. I try.

t-bird Posted by Hello

07 March 2005

tales from virginia street

They are opening a 24-hour Bi-Lo SUPERCENTER in Columbia this week. It's a 61,000 square foot box store. Granted that it's titanic in size, the only one of it's kind AND 24-hour, I think just makes me want to frequent it more. Just once at least. Perhaps it'll attract the sea gulls like Wal-Marts do. Has anyone else noticed the amount of gulls in the Wal-Mart parking lots or is just a South Carolina trend? (I googled it and determined that SEA GULLS ARE ATTACKING WAL-MART PARKING LOTS ALL OVER THE CONTINENTAL U.S.!)

Well, it's not that detrimental but now I bet you'll spot them faster than you'll spot that FedEx arrow!

The bathroom faucet in my house has been leaking for about 1.5 weeks. It's slowly turned into more than just a drip. Now it's on the verge of being called a gush of water. And it's the hot water. Imagine that. The landlord said he'd come by FRIDAY! Needless to say, I called and left a message.

A passerby found a human skeleton at the end of my street. Now THAT'S some exciting news. Really, it was 100 yards down my street at the intersection of one of the busiest streets (Assembly St.) in Columbia. I even saw our street sign on the news last night. It was decorated in yellow crime-scene tape. Streamers.

And finally, some sad news. A tractor-trailor hauling LIVE chickens overturned on the interstate in Columbia this morning. I was reading about it online and then clicked the video to watch the news report--hoping to add some humor to a boring day at work. Indeed it was humorous to watch video footage of chickens walking on I-26. The obligatory eye-witness described it as "an explosion of chickens." But then, the reporter ended with "..now unfortunately some chickens did not survive the accident."

I had to laugh. And then I wrote that line down.

06 March 2005

i wasn't trying to make it vintage looking, but while taking pictures of red sheets in the sun, i noticed the trees above me through the window. one of my favorites so far. Posted by Hello

sun on red Posted by Hello

greatest hits from the 90's

So this whole FedEx thing has caused a stir, huh? I like kngrooms' life-changing realization that from now on, she'll think of life post-seeing the arrow. That's cracks me up like Humpty Dumpty after the wall incident.

I feel like I have shared my wealth of knowledge on the arrow topic now.

The big question that remains is what if you see subliminal arrows in your freckles? Now that's a topic because they DO exist. I'm not kidding.

Okay, you're looking for them now.

04 March 2005


I think I'm becoming annoying. End of story.

The bright part of my day was discovering a new gas station where a Hardee's once existed. They had gas for $1.69. That's 20 cents cheaper than 2 miles down the road near my house. The little things help out a lot.

Ever notice that the freckles on your arms line up and if you stare long enough, you can find patterns. It's almost like constellations. I almost have Orion on my right arm. When I was growing up, the only way I could remember my left hand from my right was the freckle on the back of my left hand. I'd do that pause and think thing for a split second and say "left" in my mind and then I was set to go. A bit robotic in a sense though.

Ever notice the subliminal right arrow in the FedEx logo? It's between the "E" and "x." Look next time you see a FedEx truck barreling through an intersection. Or you could look here. Of course, the first time you see one, you'll start looking for them and eventually you'll see them way too much and you'll get angry. Or at least, that's what happens to me now.

Of course, "EMS" spells "ELVIS" if you look closely at the back of an EMS truck. Yeah, stare at that for a while.

Happy Birthday Stacey.

03 March 2005

you can call me thumper, if you want

Speaking of Bambi..

I have a problem with that commercial advertising the "ALL NEW, DIGITALLY REMASTERED BAMBI DVD" that has been airing periodically.

They show the juxtaposed images of Bambi--the left side being the old, apparently dingy version; the right side being the "ALL NEW, DIGITALLY REMASTERED BAMBI." Why don't they just come out and say, "How dare you watch the OLD version in this vintage condition?!"

Of course, I'd watch it.

This morning while making coffee I realized there were only 2 coffee filters remaining. I used one. Since Andy makes hazelnut coffee in the morning and I don't like hazelnut because I have french vanilla creamer, I generally make my own pot of regular coffee after he leaves. So tonight, he preset his coffeemaker with the last filter and I used this as an excuse to get up and go to Starbucks in the morning (thursday) before I head to work.

Can't WAIT to see what story I come back with this time. Should I use the Bambi name as Mandy suggested? I can see it now--going in trying really hard to impress the mochamaker with a non-mumbled name but instead conjuring up some preposterous name like "Band-aid" instead.

Time will tell. And I'll tell you all first.

01 March 2005

don't say my name, don't say my name

This one is for all those people who see someone you just don't want to talk to so you find every way possible to leave the scene.

scene: Starbucks (surprise, surprise)

I walk in noting the time is the exact same time as last week's entry where the line was ten-fold. To my surprise the store was crowded but no one in line. Great, good thing I rehearsed my order while walking towards the door. I got it this time. It's all mine. I'm gonna ask for it and become a true more-than-4-word coffee drinker.



The cashier actually said, WHOAH--I'm sorry, you gotta repeat that.

grande no fat no whip mocha

It sounds so professional. Why can't I just say 'I don't want 2-percent milk or whip cream' ?

She repeats my order to me. Then begs for my name.


I mumbled it but actually put a little inflection in it, so she repeated it 'roBIN?'

From there she repeats my order to the only other person there, the mochamaker who in-turn repeats to either to herself or to me, complete with my name added to the end. I go lean on the i'm-just-leaning-waiting-for-my-drink counter for the mochamaker to do her magic. Out of the corner of my eye I see an old friend who I haven't talked to in a few months because basically she talks way too much and I don't really want to talk to her. No names. She passes right by me and heads to the other counter to place her order.

At this point I remember how much I wanted to hear my name called last week and how saddened I was that it wasn't. I just wanted a quick escape. I stared blankly down at the crumpled receipt I was gripping in my left hand.

oh no, oh no, there's my drink. don't say my name, don't say my name. please. this could go by so much quicker. i should be at work. it's one of those days. don't say my name, don't say my name.

grande nonfat nowhip mocha for ro--


I cut her off and headed to the door unbeknownst to anyone in there except the mochamaker and the cashier who know me by roBIN. Gee, if ordering at Starbucks is this painful for me all the time, I should start ordering a bottle of water and telling them my name is Bo. That should be easy enough.

tall bottle of water for Bo

Of course, it would probably be spelled Bow.


TWO, count em, 1-2 of my posts were deleted last night. At one point I looked back and saw both of them on the blog at the same time then they mysteriously vanished.

Sorry to disappoint.

It's early, it's cold, I'm headed to Starbucks then to work. Yet another "one of those days" apparently.