i gather all the news i need on the weather report

things i learned in the AJC, Atlanta's newspaper (online, of course), today:


-people call 911 to check the time (seriously)
-an 18-yr old girl got botox because she wanted to be on a hit tv show
-some pit bulls were not rabid
-"Ohio to test Chia Pet-like sound wall" (verbatim headline)
-Pierce Brosnan is selling his home for $3.9 billion
-Mel Gibson is not moving to Australia
-and according to some 'officials', bear sightings pose little threat (!)


this is all news on the homepage.  news!  why do i still check and refresh this page time and time again?  purely for laughs these days.